


Untitled

by ana_kl



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Drabble Collection, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Multiple Pairings, Post Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:53:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 32,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23845771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ana_kl/pseuds/ana_kl
Summary: Mitch Marner/Connor McDavid: 1, 13Juuse Saros/Pekka Rinne: 2Juuse Saros/Roman Josi: 3Mitch Marner/Leon Draisaitl: 4Freddie Andersen/Auston Matthews: 5, 10, 13, 15Kasperi Kapanen/Kyle Dubas: 6, 9Matthew Tkachuk/Leon Draisaitl: 7, 11, 13, 14, 16Jakob Chyrchrun/Max Domi: 8Nolan Patrick/Travis Konecny: 12
Relationships: Frederik Andersen/Auston Matthews, Jakob Chychrun/Max Domi, Kyle Dubas/Kasperi Kapanen, Leon Draisaitl/Matthew Tkachuk, Leon Draisaitl/Mitch Marner, Mitch Marner/Connor McDavid, Pekka Rinne/Juuse Saros, Roman Josi/Juuse Saros, Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick
Comments: 23
Kudos: 112





	1. Mitch Marner/Connor McDavid

Connor hadn't thought much of how tired Mitch was when they could finally spend as much time together as they wanted at the end of the hockey season. They always had a few weeks of total rest to start the off-season before beginning on a summer of conditioning and hard work off the ice and needless to say, these first few weeks were never a time of productivity or particular motivation in any case. But when Mitch was still struggling to get out of bed, turning in ridiculously early and falling asleep just about anywhere after five days of walking their dogs and stretching as their maximal physical exertion, Connor started getting concerned. 

"Hey Mitchy, are you feeling okay?" He asked softly, trying not to move too much when he'd realized that Mitch had fallen asleep against his shoulder one evening.

He felt guilty waking him up, but he was also worried because the sun was just setting and they were only about a quarter of the way through one of Mitch's favorite series on Netflix. Mitch had also taken a nap earlier and while neither of them normally slept during the day over the off-season, Mitch was regularly sleeping at least an hour or two every afternoon. 

"Hmm...I think so?" Mitch said slowly after a moment, cuddling a little closer to Connor. "Just really tired..."

"Yeah, I can see that," Connor smiled despite his concern, shifting them both around so that Mitch could use him as his pillow before dropping a quick kiss on the back of Mitch's hand. "You're sure you're not feeling sick, though?" He couldn't help asking again because this was about Mitch and he'd realized pretty early on in their four-year relationship that Mitch meant more to him than hockey. 

As much as he didn't feel like moving, Mitch propped himself up from where he was now lying against Connor's chest and kissed him softly.

"I'm fine, Connor," he reassured, smiling adoringly at his very obviously worried boyfriend. "I'm sure I'll have more energy once we start going back to the gym; it's just been rough coming out of the season this time, for some reason." 

"...Okay," Connor accepted, searching Mitch's beautiful blue eyes for a moment before stealing another kiss, which Mitch willingly gave him. 

He was asleep again minutes after settling into his new position draped across Connor's body, and Connor wound up carrying him to their bedroom a few hours later, Mitch barely stirring in his arms or in their bed once Connor laid down beside him. Connor still didn't have complete peace of mind where his boyfriend's excessive exhaustion was concerned, but if Mitch said he was feeling otherwise fine, then he must be...?

\-------

A couple days later, Mitch started getting extremely nauseous and Connor's concern escalated to panic. The first time it happened, it was four in the morning and Connor was jarred awake by Mitch suddenly wrenching himself out of Connor's arms and running to their ensuite bathroom. Connor had spent at least a minute just sitting upright in bed, trying to process what exactly was happening, before the sound of his boyfriend retching propelled him out of bed, too. 

"Mitchy? Are you ok?" Connor asked tentatively when there was silence for a while, instantly feeling like an idiot because obviously Mitch wasn't ok.

"Y-Yeah, I'll be fine, Connor. It's just --" 

Connor winced sympathetically as Mitch started throwing up again. It was a solid half hour, and then some, before Mitch finally emerged, looking drained and pale. He smiled weakly despite himself at the sight of Connor and their two dogs waiting for him, Connor looking anxious. He was immediately at Mitch's side, wrapping an arm around his waist and Mitch couldn't help leaning into him heavily as Connor took him back to bed. 

"I feel like shit," Mitch finally admitted as Connor held him. 

"Can I bring you to the doctor tomorrow... or I guess later today?" He asked, rubbing Mitch's back. 

"It's probably just the flu," Mitch reasoned, snuggling against Connor. "It'll go away in a few days." 

He was tired before but was especially so now. 

Connor wasn't satisfied, but he let Mitch sleep. He was wide awake himself however, and was very much alert as he went through a mental catalogue of everything that could be wrong with his boyfriend. He knew better than to reach for his phone and Google Mitch's symptoms, especially this early in the morning, but the worst case scenarios that he was coming up with himself weren't much more reassuring. At least it was the off-season, so he could rule out that Mitch had a severe concussion, but the prospect that Mitch had something even worse and unfamiliar than a hockey injury was in many ways more daunting. 

In general, Connor wouldn't consider himself to be the most observant person on the planet or the most expressive. Public speaking had never really been his strong point and he'd be the first to admit that, if left to his own devices, his sense of style wasn't great. Sweatpants, a snapback and a shirt from training camp while walking downtown Edmonton? If it was comfortable, why not? A skate lace belt at a prestigious award ceremony? It got the job done. When it came to hockey and training however, of course Connor noticed, absorbed and retained every single detail. And from the moment they met, even before they started going out, everything Mitch Marner related was also on the list of few things to which Connor effortlessly paid his undivided attention. He remembered things that Mitch had told him when they were sixteen and had planned to the minute when he'd flown out to Toronto to surprise Mitch on his birthday last year. Mitch was and had always been an exception in Connor's life -- there was no one else with whom he felt more comfortable, most like himself. He loved Mitch and he loved who he was when he was with Mitch. 

So, he started keeping track of how Mitch was feeling, because if Mitch was ok with letting his symptoms sort themselves out, Connor sure wasn't. And it didn't take long before he noticed a pattern. Every morning without fail, Mitch spent an hour contending with intense nausea before feeling better as the day progressed, only for everything to start again the following day. He was tired all the time, and while there was no structure to the times at which he was faling asleep, he was developing aversions to everything from foods to smells he normally liked. Connor had made him pasta the other day when his nausea finally let up, only to have Mitch running back to the bathroom as soon as he stepped into the kitchen. The shower gel that they both normally used had also become a trigger, but what had really baffled and alarmed Connor was finding Mitch eating raw broccoli, which he usually didn't care for, copiously dipped straight into a jar of very strong mustard that Leon had brought back from Germany, with recommendations to spread thinly on dark bread. 

A week after Mitch started feeling sick, Connor phoned his mom. Logically, he realized that he should probably be talking to a team doctor at the very least rather than his mother, but he'd always gone to her first when he was worried about something and he'd been quietly agonizing over Mitch's health for some time now. His mom listened attentively as he listed Mitch's symptoms, starting to panic again as he went through them, because constant morning nausea, fatigue, food aversions and utterly bizarre food cravings sounded even more serious now that he was lining them all up, one after the other. 

"Oh my god... Mom, what if he's dying?" Connor articulated his hysterical epiphany as he finished, vaguely aware that he might be being irrational, but this was his boyfriend he was talking about. 

"Connor, honey, calm down," his mom said steadily. "I'm sure Mitch isn't dying. But do you think he could be pregnant?" 

"Preg-...?" Connor was stunned into silence. 

He'd known for a while that Mitch could get pregnant; Mitch had confided in him that he was one of few men who could before they'd started dating. And once their relationship became serious and they began talking about the future, they had discussed having kids. They both wanted to, especially with each other, but Connor was under the impression that they weren't going to start a family until several more years down the road. They were still in their early twenties, had promising careers in the NHL and while having kids now didn't necessarily mean that they'd have to give any of that up forever, it was definitely a game changer. 

"Honey, you need to talk to Mitch," his mom said. "Make sure he knows you're there for him, because this is going to be even scarier for him if you two weren't planning for this," she continued, as if there was any need to remind Connor.

But she was just being a mom who loved her son's boyfriend like her own son, and maybe Connor and Mitch would sound like her one day because Mitch might be having _their baby_ and they'd be parents and -- 

Connor was pretty sure that his brain had short-circuited and he felt paralyzed as his mother kept telling him what he should do. He ran his fingers through his hair when they finished their call; tactfully, he'd phoned out on the balcony while Mitch was still in bed, but now he'd have to decide how he was going to bring this up with him. He definitely wasn't mad -- it wasn't like it was Mitch's fault -- and once it'd sunk in that Mitch's symptoms matched with pregnancy, he was even a little excited about it. He and Mitch might be having a baby who'd grow up to look a little like both of them and they'd teach their child how to skate and play hockey, and they'd be supportive if there was something else they wanted to do. But that was only if Mitch wanted to go through with this, though. Connor was very much aware of how much more this was going to impact Mitch than him and he just wanted Mitch to be happy. 

"Connor?" Mitch's soft voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

Connor turned around to see a beautiful, barefooted Mitch stepping out onto their balcony. Unsurprisingly, he looked tired and as he stood there in just a t-shirt and boxers, Connor wanted nothing more than to hold him. 

"Come here," Connor reached for Mitch, who gladly took his hands and settled on his lap. 

"What's wrong?" Mitch asked gently, detecting the tension in Connor's posture. 

"Are you pregnant?" Connor blurted out rather bluntly and words had never really been his thing, either. 

Mitch blinked in stupor. 

"Umm...I don't know...?" He started, realizing why Connor was asking and wondering why he hadn't thought of it before. 

His mind started racing as he thought back on how poorly he'd been feeling. He wasn't on anything because of hockey, but he and Connor had nonetheless always been careful... except there had been that one time not too long ago when they were finally in the same city after about a month of seeing each other only virtually. The Leafs had won their last game and Mitch had flown to Edmonton to watch the Oilers' home game and Connor had made history yet again. They'd been celebrating hockey and being reunited and had had a little too much to drink, not enough that they were too far gone to consent, but just so for them to get a little too caught up in the moment. 

"Oh." Mitch said with sudden realization. 

Connor wanted to say something, tell Mitch that it would be ok, that he was going to be there no matter what he chose to do and take charge of the situation like he knew Mitch needed him to right now, but he and Mitch just sat there for a long moment, processing everything. 

"Connor? If I am, is it ok?" Mitch asked a little hesitantly. 

Something about how unsure Mitch looked and how diminutive he suddenly seemed in his arms spurred Connor into action and he proceeded to launch into the mess of a speech that he'd been thinking about for the last hour. If he'd slowed down a little, he might have noted that all he really needed to say to Mitch was that he loved him, wanted him to know that it was his choice and that he wasn't going anywhere no matter what he decided to do. Instead, he covered all this but also fumbled his way through telling Mitch that if Mitch was pregnant and wanted to keep it, then he was going to find a way to be there for him for all his appointments, would do whatever it took not to let the hockey season keep them apart when Mitch needed him most and yes, this was definitely earlier than they'd planned, but he'd still love it if he was becoming a father now and he'd make sure that Mitch could return to the NHL when he was ready. Or if Mitch wasn't ready yet, that was ok, too. They could always have kids later, or never if Mitch had changed his mind. And either way, Connor loved him so much and wanted to marry him. 

Mitch looked very surprised when Connor finally slowed down, blushing as his mind caught up to his mouth and he processed what he'd just said. He'd meant every word, but he wasn't planning on disclosing that he wanted to propose to Mitch just yet and he definitely didn't want him to think that he wanted to get married just because Mitch might be pregnant. But Mitch had an amused smile on his face and a lot of hope in his eyes, and Connor couldn't help smiling, too. 

"So if I am pregnant and I decide to have the baby, you want that, too?" Mitch asked again, smiling as he traced along Connor's clavicle.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do," Connor said, the truth of what he wanted bare before him. 

Mitch beamed, throwing his arms around Connor's neck as Connor pulled him closer and kissed him. He finally let Connor take him to the doctor, where they confirmed what they were suspecting and it was really only when they returned home that they realized just how much having a baby was going to change things. In other circumstances, they would have waited a bit before telling anyone else, but they'd had to let both their teams know immediately. Mitch would have to miss at least one season and Connor felt guilty, but Mitch was relieved that their teams and families took the news well. 

"I'm going to take such good care of you, Mitch," Connor promised when they finally had a quiet moment together. "Both of you." 

Mitch smiled, melting into Connor's arms. They were both still a bit in shock and didn't quite know what they were doing, but they were sure of how they felt about each other and that was all they needed.

"I know, Connor," he kissed his boyfriend. "You already do." 


	2. Juuse Saros/Pekka Rinne

Consciously, Juuse knew that he only had to wait a few minutes, but he felt as though he'd been waiting for at least half an hour from the moment he'd taken the pregnancy test to the moment he'd sat down on the edge of the bed he shared with Pekka to wait. He nervously played with the sleeves of his sweater, then with his dog's fur as he waited, trying his best to stay calm. His best efforts weren't enough however, and he felt as though his heart was going to pound out of his chest or like he was going to faint. He couldn't even recall feeling this nervous on his draft day, his first NHL game, or even during his first shootout. Maybe the first time that he and Pekka had slept together, which had also been his first time ever, but that had also been different -- a good kind of nervous, because he wholeheartedly trusted the man to whom he was giving himself and he'd wanted to. 

This, on the other hand, was completely out of his control. 

As the seconds ticked agonizingly by, Juuse found himself wishing that Pekka was with him. Sure, his dog was always there to comfort him, and his dog had been his most constant companion before he'd moved back in with Pekka when their relationship became serious, but he was pretty sure that the animal wouldn't appreciate him squeezing his paws the way that he wanted to grip Pekka's hand right now. But he'd deliberately chosen to take the test when Pekka had gone out to the gym, not wanting to say anything until he knew for sure. 

As much as Juuse absolutely needed to know his test result, his stomach dropped when the timer on his phone went off and it suddenly felt as though he didn't have long enough to prepare for what he might see. His hands were shaking and he had to take a deep breath before he could get up and walk the few feet from the bed to the master bathroom. And once in the doorway, he had to lean against the wall for a moment, truly starting to feel as though he was going to pass out. He suddenly wished that he had someone -- anyone -- with him and he almost wanted to throw the test away and take another one once Pekka returned. 

Rallying his courage together, he took another deep breath before picking up the test with a trembling hand. He just needed to get this over with. 

Everything in his body seemed to seize when he saw the result and he stood in shock for at least a full minute, fumbling for the instructions sheet that had come with the test, checking, double checking and then triple checking to make sure that the result was correct. When it had sunk in that there really weren't other ways in which one could interpret one or two blue lines, the tears he'd been trying to hold back since he'd looked at the test started falling and it was all he could do to throw it away quite forcefully before leaving the bathroom blinded by tears, curling up on the edge of the bed and bursting into sobs. 

It was negative. Again. 

This had to have been the fifteenth or maybe even twentieth test that Juuse had taken since he and Pekka had started trying for a baby three months ago, at the beginning of the off season. Juuse hadn't thought too much about it when the first few had come back negative -- he'd seen the team doctors before he and Pekka started trying just to make sure that he could go through with a pregnancy and to get the information they needed. He'd been told that he wouldn't necessarily get pregnant right away and that they might need to be patient, but he still wasn't expecting it to take so long. Probably by the fifth test, he started feeling discouraged, but Pekka had always been a calming presence, as he was in all other aspects of Juuse's life. Still, maybe because he was young and a little impatient, or maybe because he really wanted to give Pekka the children he knew the older man had always wanted no matter how much he reassured Juuse that it was ok if this ultimately didn't work, if they couldn't have their own kids, Juuse became increasingly distraught with each negative test he took. 

He had no idea what was going wrong. He'd been tested when he was younger; despite being a man, he could get pregnant. And just before he and Pekka had started trying, he'd gotten a clean bill of health and the green light to conceive with his boyfriend. Although the couple's personal project meant that Juuse would have to miss the coming season, they had complete support from their teammates and all the staff. They'd put so much thought into this, from Juuse spending all of the last year thinking about it and coming to the decision that he wanted to start a family with Pekka now, to Pekka's plan to retire so that he could be there for their child once Juuse recovered and was back in shape to play again. Juuse's off-season training was nowhere near as strenuous as usual and he'd been extra vigilant about his diet. It wasn't as though he and Pekka weren't giving it enough tries, either. And, although Juuse was a little embarrassed to admit it, he'd gotten desperate enough after the second month had passed to turn to Google for advice and had tried all the foods and positions he'd randomly found. 

Nothing from sound medical advice to quack articles on the internet had worked though, and here he was, still not pregnant. 

Pekka had told him so many times that he didn't need to get stressed out about this, that he loved him for who he was now and what they were together, not for the possibility that they could start a family or for just his body. And Juuse had no doubts about his partner's sincerity. He just really wanted this, more than he'd even realized. As he was making his way to the NHL, he'd never given a second thought to having kids, really. He was too focused on hockey and didn't want there to be any obstacles to having the longest, most streamlined and highest performing career he possibly could. Then he had met Pekka and after a few months living with him, he began hoping that the older man could become more than a friend and a mentor to him. 

He'd needed to become more of his own person after a while, live in the new, big city that was now his second home on his own for a bit, so he'd bought his own place. And when it seemed as though Pekka really only saw him as a mentee, however much he cared about him, maybe Juuse hoped that a little distance would help him avoid what he'd thought be inevitable heartbreak. But his new place wasn't far from Pekka's and he still saw the older man almost every day, whether at practice or when he'd go over for dinner. With his relief that Pekka was still a constant in his life, Juuse had realized how much he wanted to at least have a chance to be something more to Pekka, so he let himself lean into their accidental touches and brushes a little longer, gave in to the little bit of flirting that came so naturally when it was just the two of them, speaking in their first language. Then, something in their relationship shifted: whatever restraint Pekka had been forcing himself to exert when it came to Juuse dissolved and he'd asked Juuse out on a proper date which had ended in a sweet first kiss and the reciprocated promise to explore what they had between them. Juuse later found out that Pekka had thought he was beautiful from the moment they first met but was convinced that there was no way that he could ethically act on his attraction given how much younger Juuse was and how he'd arrived to Nashville starstruck by his long-time favorite player. It hadn't taken long for all the barriers to come down however, and neither had ever been more in love. 

Maybe this was why Juuse was getting so stressed out: he loved Pekka so, so much and he just wanted to give him the family he'd always wanted and that he wanted since their relationship got serious. He saw how amazing Pekka was with kids, how wonderful of a father he would be, and he'd had daydreams of kids who looked a little like both of them, maybe moving back to Finland to raise them where he and Pekka had grown up... 

The more Juuse wanted it, the more it seemed like he would never have it and for the first time, he really felt as though his body was betraying him. 

He must have cried for a full hour before Pekka came home and as much cold water as he'd splashed over his face, he knew it was still obvious that he'd been crying. Knowing Pekka, he'd have noticed that Juuse was sad just from his posture, how defeated he seemed despite his best efforts to cheer up. 

"Juuse, what's wrong?" Pekka asked immediately tossing his gym bag to the side as he wrapped his arms around his partner. 

Unable to handle another disappointment, Juuse hadn't wanted to say anything unless the test had come back positive, but Pekka always had a way to make him want to share everything that was bothering him. 

"...I took another test and it's negative," Juuse sniffled.

"Oh... sweetheart, it's ok," Pekka pulled Juuse closer, kissing the top of his head as he rubbed the younger man's back soothingly. 

"W-Why isn't anything working? What's wrong with me...?" Juuse started crying again. 

"I don't know and I'm sorry love, but it's not your fault," Pekka said softly. "There's nothing wrong with you..."

Gently, he led Juuse over to the sofa and settled the younger man onto his lap. He hadn't known that Juuse was still feeling so stressed out about having a baby; he'd seemed fine over the last month. He did want a family with Juuse, had felt elated, humbled and so in love with the beautiful young man he'd watched evolve on and off the ice when Juuse told him he wanted the same thing. But to Pekka, it just wasn't worth it if it was upsetting Juuse so much. They had so many other options -- they could adopt, they could try again later -- and he had never wanted things to get to a point at which Juuse was blaming himself for not being able to have their own kids. 

He told Juuse as much when Juuse calmed down a little.

"But I know how much you want to have a family and I want to give you that," Juuse said quietly, leaning against Pekka's chest. 

"Hey..." Pekka tenderly tilted Juuse's chin upwards so that their eyes locked. "You've already given me a family, Juuse. You have no idea how much you've given me, how much I love you. You're everything I need." 

Juuse couldn't help blushing and smiling a little as Pekka traced over his lips with his thumb, kissing the corner of his mouth lightly before capturing his lips in a deep, adoring kiss. 

"How about we stop thinking about babies for a bit," Pekka smiled when they broke apart slightly, Juuse seeming a little brighter than when he first found him.

"Ok," Juuse nodded, feeling lighter. 

It still hurt to know that he wasn't pregnant, but he wasn't feeling as alone anymore and was decidedly more optimistic. 

"Pekka?" He started when they briefly separated from another kiss. 

"Hmm?" 

"I love you, too." 

\------------

Juuse was grateful for their teammates' sensitivity when he showed up alongside everyone else for pre-season medicals. They didn't ask any questions, didn't ask what had happened to his plans to miss the season to have a baby and had just given him silent looks of support and understanding. Not for the first time, he felt so lucky to be where he was, surrounded by people who cared so much about him and to have someone who loved him like he hadn't even known he could be loved. 

Pekka had already had all his tests done; Juuse's had taken longer given that they were going to have to work on getting him back in top form after a more relaxed off-season. So he'd come along with Juuse to wait for his lab results, arm around Juuse's waist as Juuse leaned against his shoulder while they waited. Although he was by no means out of shape, Juuse was still a little nervous about how much work he was going to have to do in the next few weeks, especially considering how tired he'd been feeling lately. He hadn't done anything too radical in his training lately and if anything, had been sleeping more than usual, but he was finding it increasingly easy to drop off in the middle of the day. He knew that Pekka was getting worried about him and he was wondering about it too; maybe he should bring it up when he got called in. 

"Juuse?" The team's primary physician came to get him, smiling when she saw that Pekka was there, too. "Oh, good! Pekka, you'll probably want to come in for this, too." 

The couple exchanged a look and for the first time since arriving, Juuse was a little concerned. He and Pekka might have accompanied each other to appointments before, but neither had ever been asked to come in with the other. 

Juuse hadn't even realized that he was squeezing Pekka's hand quite hard until they were all in an examination room and the doctor smiled at them, reassuring Juuse that he could relax. 

"Your labs are perfect as usual, Juuse, but I think your plans for this season will be different," she smiled. "You're about a month pregnant, congratulations!" 

Juuse was frozen in shock. Since his last negative test, he'd accepted that he probably wasn't going to have a baby anytime soon and with how attentive Pekka always was to him, more so since he'd realized how much Juuse had been stressing out, it had been easier than he'd thought to move forward and look forward to trying again some other time. 

"Are you sure?" He heard himself ask, not sure that he'd trust his legs to support him if he hadn't been sitting on the examination table, Pekka beside him with an arm around his waist. 

"Positive," the doctor reassured, showing and explaining to them Juuse's results. 

Juuse was hardly retaining anything she was saying however, only processing the fact that he was actually pregnant. It was only when she left, giving them a moment together while she went to collect pamphlets and other guides for the newly expecting parents, that Juuse turned to Pekka, who was looking at him with so much love and adoration that Juuse felt his eyes fill with tears. 

"I...This is really happening?" Juuse asked, still not quite believing it. 

Pekka nodded, beaming and getting a little emotional, himself. 

Juuse was totally silent for a moment longer before he felt Pekka holding him a little tighter, then the news -- the reality -- that he was finally carrying their child washed over him and he threw himself in his boyfriend's arms, crying and laughing at the same time. They were hardly able to kiss properly because they were smiling so much and Juuse couldn't recall feeling happier as Pekka's hand joined his over his abdomen. 


	3. Juuse/Roman (AU: Not hockey players)

Juuse loved the son he'd had with Roman, a now three-year old boy they'd named Janne. They'd been married for a couple years when they decided to start a family and not long after their third anniversary, Juuse had their son. He'd had a bit of a difficult pregnancy: he'd suffered severe nausea for the first three months and as attentive as Roman was to him, his job as a high profile financial executive had frequently pulled him away from Juuse's side when the younger man needed him most. Juuse had never held Roman's absences against him however; he'd always been there for Juuse in any way he could, whether it was talking to him on the phone until he relaxed on the nights he couldn't sleep, regularly travelling to Finland to spend at least a few days with Juuse when they were still dating or cancelling a whole week's worth of meetings the day that Juuse had gone into labor so that he could be with him and afterwards, get to know their son. Notwithstanding the challenges they sometimes faced, Juuse loved Roman more than anything and he hadn't needed to think twice before following him to Nashville two years ago for a transfer. Moving overseas with a baby hadn't been easy either, but now, the city felt like home. 

Heading into nearly two months of quarantine however, Juuse was really starting to miss the open, natural spaces in Finland. Basically never leaving their apartment hadn't been too jarring of a change, since he'd decided to be a stay-home parent at least until their son started going to school. They lived in a wealthy area as well, so their flat was very spacious, but Juuse was admittedly running out of ways to keep a very active three year old and two large dogs occupied. Normally in spring and summer, they'd venture out later in the morning to a nearby café that Juuse had found and that reminded him of Europe. He'd finished a program in interior design back home and had clients he worked with online, so he'd get some work done then as they took a patio seat, Janne playing beside him or under the table. He could even bring the dogs and they'd later walk to the park or run some errands before heading home in time for Janne's daily nap and Juuse's virtual meetings with clients. He could still do almost all of this now. Around the third week, he'd even managed a cinnamon latte that was on par with his usual café order. But now, coloring had become such a fixture in their daily routine that he wondered if he was starting to smell like the scented markers their son was obsessed with and he felt pretty bad for their dogs, whose main exercise now was playing fetch down their long but rather narrow halls. 

"Janne, no; Daddy's in a meeting," Juuse whispered as loudly as he could, intervening for what felt like the thousandth time as their son tried to get into Roman's home office while he was videoconferencing clients. 

He sighed as he picked up the little boy, smiling nonetheless as he kissed Janne's small hand, making him giggle. Even after three years, Juuse was amazed by how every time he looked into his son's eyes, he was looking into his own. The older he got, the more Janne looked like Roman, but he unmistakably had Juuse's eyes and even now, Juuse felt amazed to realize that he and Roman had actually made a person. And maybe, once things got back to normal, they could work on making another...

For now though, Juuse had his hands full (literally), because today was apparently a day on which reading, coloring, playing hallway hockey and even having a prince/princess tea party at lunch which Roman had joined (and discretely told a blushing Juuse that he looked _really _pretty in a tiara) just wasn't enough to completely expend a young child's energy. So he had to think of something else to do and with Janne already squirming in his arms, he knew that he was going to have to think of something engaging.

"Why don't we bake some bread?" Juuse smiled, inwardly relieved when he got a very enthusiastic nod. 

And like everything else, baking was more complicated with a three year old. Juuse liked going through the recipe a few times with Janne, using it as a chance to work on English, Finnish and German, the latter of which he'd started learning when he met Roman and he now knew at least enough to reinforce the basics that Roman was teaching their son. Then, they'd lay out all the ingredients in separate bowls and Juuse would read the instructions again to teach his son so that they could mix everything in. It was slow and messy, but Juuse loved it, all the more so because he could tell that Janne loved it too. 

Today's recipe was Finnish cardamom bread, which Juuse had regularly made when he was a university student back home, trying to pay for tuition with a full time job at a local café. He occasionally baked but was mostly at the counter, and it was how he and Roman had met. The older man had been on a business trip, meeting with some Finnish partners, and he'd stopped in for a coffee and a moment of quiet before the first of an important set of meetings. He was one of the best at his job but sometimes, the constant travelling, long days, late nights and even longer weeks exhausted even him. He'd been in a couple relationships, but they'd never worked out and at that point, he was thinking that there'd never be anyone he'd settle down with, which was fine. 

Then he'd met Juuse.

He went to the café every day of the week he was there to see the beautiful young man with the gorgeous blue eyes and adorable smile; who baked the best bread he'd ever tasted and most of all, made him feel relaxed and grounded no matter how big the contract he was negotiating was. On the last day he spent in Finland, he'd asked Juuse out to dinner while getting his morning coffee. He was far more nervous than he'd normally be and was also acting quickly, but he just couldn't miss out on the chance to be with Juuse. Juuse had also moved quicker than he would've with anyone else, very shyly kissing Roman before they'd parted ways that evening. Roman was quick to kiss him back though and although they didn't go any further, they'd left with the promise to stay in touch and the unspoken committment to nurture whatever they had between them. A year later, they made their relationship official and now, they had their own family.

Juuse didn't even realize how much time had gone by until he felt Roman's strong arms around his waist after he put the bread in the oven. 

"Smells good, mein schatz," Roman grinned against Juuse's neck, trailing kisses along his soft skin. 

Juuse smiled and blushed, leaning a little into his husband... then he realized that he was covered in flour and so was their son, who was giggling at them from where he sat on the counter. Which also had a fair bit of flour and spices...and the dogs were sprinkled, too. 

"Go relax, I'll clean up and make dinner," Roman kissed his cheek, knowing very well how much time and energy Juuse invested every day to give their son all the love and care he needed.

There was no one else he'd ever want this with, children, a home that was theirs. 

Juuse was exhausted and it didn't take more persuading from Roman for him to leave his two favorite boys to it in favor of taking a long bath. He hadn't thought that he would have the life he had now -- living in America with the man he loved most, who was the best husband and father, and their beautiful little boy. He hadn't thought that they'd have to become housebound overnight with no clear end in sight either, but between the frequent coloring, messy baking, his loving husband as supportive and stabilizing as ever and the son they both adored, maybe things weren't so insurmountable after all. 


	4. Mitch Marner/Leon Draisaitl

"Do you need anything, Mäuschen?" Leon asked gently, wishing he could make his husband feel better. 

"It's ok...I think I just need to be alone for a minute," Mitch said softly, smiling sadly despite his best efforts. 

Even now, with a solid reputation in hockey, with a husband who loved him so much and the five year old son they'd had together, so much as a phone call with his own father could still break him and make him feel like nothing. 

"Ok," Leon pulled him close and kissed him sweetly. "I love you," he added sincerely, wanting Mitch to know now more than ever. 

"I love you too," Mitch let himself sink into Leon's strong arms for a moment. 

He would want Leon to hold him later that evening, kiss him and make him feel loved, remind him that he was his own person but for now, his father's words were still too raw, too hurtful and all his old wounds resurfacing was too overwhelming. 

"Make sure Theo knows I'm not mad at him?" Mitch said, looking at his husband imploringly. 

"Of course, sweetheart," Leon kissed him softly again, holding him close before letting go a little reluctantly to give the beautiful man the space he knew he needed. 

Mitch sighed as Leon left, closing the door of their bedroom behind him. He'd worked so hard to build the life that he now had -- first in hockey, then, and the hardest thing yet, to detach himself from years of his father berating him for not playing up to expectations, then stepping in and hovering even when Mitch went pro, criticizing everyone who didn't consider him for captain or a pay raise on the one hand and continuing the same barrage of insult and injury on the other when Mitch was off the ice. When Mitch had found out that he was pregnant with his and Leon's first child just two years into their relationship, he'd vowed that he wouldn't do the same thing to their child, would support them no matter what they wanted to do and no matter how good they were at it, would just love and accept them for whoever they were and would make sure that they knew it. 

Leon was 25 and Mitch was barely 23 when Mitch had Theo, and Mitch had been terrified when he found out he was pregnant. He was in Toronto at the time, Leon in Edmonton, and while it was becoming clearer and clearer to both of them that they were deeply in love and considering marriage, they hadn't planned on having a baby yet. Mitch was among a small group of men who could get pregnant and Leon knew, but they'd always been careful about using protection...except one night when they'd been apart for a long time, on the road with games, and Leon had a few days off and he'd gone down to Toronto to be with Mitch. Shaky and near tears, a very distressed Mitch had called Leon to tell him, scared about how Leon would react and prepared as much as he could be that by the end of the call, he'd have lost the love of his life and was potentially going to go through pregnancy and raising a child by himself. Far from it, Leon was immediately looking into flights to Toronto, not caring in the slightest if he missed practice or even a game or two, wanting to be with Mitch, wanting to make sure that his beautiful boyfriend wasn't alone when he needed him the most. 

Leon was fully supportive of no matter what Mitch wanted to do, wishing he could decide for Mitch because Mitch was so stressed out but also recognizing and respecting Mitch's autonomy over his own body. And when Mitch decided to keep the baby and Leon was convinced that it was what Mitch truly wanted, he let himself get excited over the fact that he was going to become a father. He proposed to Mitch shortly after, not out of obligation, but out of complete love and devotion, having planned to propose before Mitch had even told him he was pregnant. 

Telling Mitch's family was a different story however -- while Leon's parents had been surprised but nonetheless supportive (they loved Mitch like their own son and saw how happy Leon was when he was with him), Mitch's dad hadn't been remotely discrete or reasonable on how he felt about Mitch subsequently needing to suspend his career in hockey. It didn't seem to matter that he had a grandson on the way, it didn't seem to get through to him that although Mitch would probably need to miss a couple seasons, his career was far from over if he did want to go back to playing hockey in the NHL. The way he saw it, Mitch had thrown everything away, to Leon Draisaitl at that. Mitch had been deeply hurt by his father's reaction and had cried inconsolably for most of the night following his call home. Leon was right beside him when he called, holding his hand and holding him when it was finally over. It had been difficult for Leon to just sit there, listening to his boyfriend take verbal abuse from his father and he'd just about stepped in, gripping Mitch's hand a little too hard and clenching his other into a fist in his lap as Mitch's father yelled at Mitch for "letting Draisaitl fuck him" and Mitch started to cry. Leon didn't care who it was: no one should disrespect Mitch or make him cry, and he bristled all the more to hear their relationship and the child they were expecting together degraded in such a way. But even through his tears, Mitch signalled to Leon that he was ok, that he could take it, that he didn't want Leon to come under fire anymore than he already had. So Leon sat back, only because Mitch asked him to, but silently, he reflected that the only time Mitch's father would ever be welcome into his home would be if Mitch wanted him to be there. 

Mitch's mother had come around, although she was still in between her husband and her youngest son, and she'd been there to help look after Mitch as he neared the end of his last trimester and Leon had to travel for games. She'd been there with the couple, alongside Leon's family, when Mitch delivered and his older brother had also gone to Edmonton to meet his nephew. Only Mitch's father had never met Theo, and the little boy was five years old now. 

Mitch wouldn't let himself dwell too much on it -- he'd since moved to Edmonton permanently to live with Leon and Leon's teammates had immediately welcomed him. It was easier with Connor being there too. Living in Edmonton had taken a bit of getting used to, but he liked it there and was happy that they could raise their son there. He'd made new friends both in and outside of hockey, kept in touch with old ones, hadn't returned to play professionally yet and wasn't sure if he wanted to, but could if he did, and was discovering other sports and cross-training that he liked but had never considered when there had only ever been time for hockey. His focus now was being there for Theo, but Leon had and would never ask him to be a stay-home parent. It was something that Mitch wanted to do more than anything, resolved to do from the moment he held their son for the first time and he had no regrets. A few months after Theo was born, he'd started going to yoga classes, which he'd tried before as cross-training for hockey, but he'd found that he liked it more and more in itself and after a few years of regular practice, he was thinking that maybe he wanted to teach it and open his own studio. He'd built a life for himself both in the world of hockey and outside it and most importantly, he and Leon had each other and their son. 

It still hurt however, to think that his father didn't approve of the life he'd made, didn't fully acknowledge the child he'd had with the man he loved most. He and Leon had never hidden anything from their son, so he knew that he had a grandfather on Mitch's side, too. But it just wasn't intuitive to explain to him why Grandpa was never around though, why he never came to visit, why he never called like Oma and Opa, who were all the way in Germany but still came to visit, or Grandma did, why he couldn't talk to him, in a way that a five year old boy would understand. 

Mitch sniffled, tears falling down his cheeks as he curled up on his and Leon's bed. He was a man, an adult. He'd made something of himself and most of all, he was happy. He had the best husband he could ever have asked for and a son he loved so much. Yet, one call home, his father bringing up again how he could and should be doing more in hockey, affirming for Mitch that his father saw his husband still as a rival on ice and not the man who'd given Mitch everything and to whom Mitch had given everything in turn, who made good on his vows to love and cherish him every single day, who was the father of their son... one call home was all it took for him to feel crushed, like he did when he was a child himself and his dad would yell at him on and off the ice if he just wasn't turning out to be the hockey player he wanted him to be. 

\------------

"Papa, why is Daddy sad?" 

Leon fully expected that their son would have questions when Mitch couldn't quite hold composure while on the phone with his father a few minutes ago. They were both very close to their son -- no matter how many nights Leon spent on the road, he always called home at least once a day when he was away to hear about Theo's day and listen to his beautiful little mouse's voice. And whether they made it to the game or were at home on the couch, Mitch and Theo always watched the Oilers play, too. But there had always been something special about how Mitch bonded with their son, from the moment he was born. Of course, Mitch had carried their baby. But more than just the physical dimension of parenthood had come naturally to Mitch. When they first brought Theo home, they'd had several months straight of sleepless nights. Valiantly, Leon would get up, trying to give Mitch a chance to rest, but he could never figure out what their baby needed and more often than not, he'd keep crying until a rather defeated Leon would bring him to Mitch. Especially for the first couple months following Theo's birth, Mitch was frequently tired no matter how much sleep he got, but he was always up when Leon returned to their room with their baby and somehow, he just knew what he needed or just how to hold him to calm him down. Leon was all the more in awe of his beautiful partner and he loved watching Mitch with their son. 

It seemed as though it was his turn to rise to the occasion however, as the task of explaining to his son what just happened fell to him. He and Mitch had talked about how they would explain Mitch's relationship with his own father to their son and Mitch wanted him to know. He just didn't know how to tell him or when. Between how upset Mitch's father had just made him and the confusion and concern on their son's face however, Leon realized that they really needed to have this conversation, even if Mitch couldn't join them right now.

"Hey... let's go talk about it, buddy," Leon smiled, looking far more confident than he felt as he took his son's hand and walked him down the hallway, both their dogs following them to the living room. 

Leon sat down on the large sectional sofa they had as the center-piece in their living room, lifting his son onto his lap as the dogs jumped up and curled up beside them. 

"Papa, is Daddy's daddy mean to him?" 

The whole walk down the hallway to their living room, Leon had been wracking his mind for how to start, but it looked like his son was intelligent and observant enough to start it for him. He wanted to say yes immediately, but he was also trying to be as diplomatic as possible, thinking of the Mitch who'd silently implored him to just be with him and not say anything all the times his father had gone off on him. 

"...Daddy and Grandpa don't always get along," he started, mentally scrambling to put together a child-friendly version of what was going on between Mitch and his dad. "You know how important hockey is to Daddy too, right?" He said, still jarred sometimes by the realization that their son hadn't seen Mitch play live in the NHL before. 

Theo nodded. 

"Sometimes he plays better than you," he said seriously, having seen playbacks of the Leafs against the Oilers.

Leon laughed, hugging the little boy who looked so much like Mitch but also had his features, too. 

"He does," he smiled, brushing his fingers through Theo's dark brown hair. "...Grandpa didn't always think so, though," he said. "I think he cared about hockey a little too much sometimes and not as much about how Daddy felt," he said. "Like if Daddy's team lost a game he'd be mad about it."

"But it's ok to lose a game; you just have to do your best," Theo said measuredly, really wondering why anyone would be mad at his mother for any reason, let alone hockey, and why his grandpa would yell at his daddy, because his own parents have never yelled at him. 

"Yeah, that's right, buddy," Leon smiled, holding his son close. "Sometimes people don't see things that way, though." 

He and Mitch had never pushed Theo towards hockey, but he'd naturally taken an interest with both his parents being NHL players and Leon currently considered one of the best players in the league. Whether or not he stuck with hockey didn't matter in the slightest to the two young parents as long as their son was happy and healthy, but it was exciting for both of them to be able to connect with their son in a sport that had such a big role in their lives. Neither had missed a game -- whenever he couldn't make it in person, Leon would find a way to stream his son's games or Mitch would Facetime him at the rink so that he could watch through their call. And like his own father, Mitch never missed a game, but his approach was the complete opposite of his father's. Neither he nor Leon had or would ever raise their voice against their son and the only shouting either of them did at the rink was to encourage all the young players they'd come to watch. They'd taught their son to always try his best, to put his focus in practice and in the game, but also and most importantly, to remember that it was just a game and that having fun being out on the ice and being a supportive teammate should always come first. Whether or not he scored, whether or not his team won, they were so proud of him and they loved watching him play. And sure enough, they'd encountered some of the same toxic hockey parents they'd seen growing up (or had, in Mitch's case) and bringing some calm and perspective to the game was one of the few times they were more than happy to use the "hockey god" status they had anywhere the game was concerned. 

Theo nodded in understanding, likening his grandfather, whom he'd never met, to the other parents he'd seen at the rink yelling at their kids. He didn't really understand why they'd do that -- his parents never did and as far as he was concerned, his parents were the best hockey players he knew. 

"Nobody should make Daddy sad..." The little boy frowned. 

Protectiveness over Mitch was definitely something that he'd gotten from Leon and Leon smiled. 

"No, no one should," he agreed. 

"Papa, can we make Daddy's favorite tea?" Theo asked, focused now on making his daddy feel better. 

"Yeah; that's a great idea, bud," Leon smiled. 

Brewing Mitch's favorite Earl Grey tea turned into trying and succeeding surprisingly well in making London Fog lattes (Mitch's absolute favorite) and baking a banana chocolate loaf. Neither Leon nor Mitch had been the best cooks -- sometimes, it amazed them that they were even able to put together meals on program -- but they'd gotten significantly better since they started a family. Baking of any kind wasn't normally Leon's strong point however -- Mitch liked baking so he left it up to him -- but he still managed to pull off the loaf and it didn't look anywhere near as bad as he had feared. Most of all though, he just loved spending time with his son. 

A couple hours later, Mitch emerged, clearly trying to keep it together, but Leon knew he'd been crying and he just wanted to make everything better for him. Their son beat him to it though, running into Mitch's arms. 

"Don't let Grandpa make you sad, Daddy. I love you and Papa loves you, too," Theo said seriously, throwing his arms around Mitch's neck as Mitch picked him up. 

Mitch had spent at least an hour straight crying and now he felt like he was going to cry again, but for very different reasons. 

"Thank you, buddy," he said softly, hugging his son tightly as he and Leon shared a smile. "I love you and Papa so much," he held his little boy close, his father's berating words biting less now that he had his own son in his arms and his husband just a few steps away. 

"How are you feeling?" Leon asked softly, resting a strong hand on Mitch's lower back. 

"Better," Mitch smiled, leaning against Leon's shoulder for a moment. 

Leon gently kissed him, silently promising Mitch that he was there for him no matter what. 


	5. Freddie Andersen/Auston Matthews

Freddie knew that he was supposed to gain weight, that it was a good sign that both he and the baby were healthy. He'd seen all this before too -- one of his older cousins had recently had her third baby and only a couple months ago, Willy and Mitch had had their first child. As far as Freddie had been able to tell, Mitch had stayed quite slim during his pregnancy and he'd lost the weight he'd gained quickly after he gave birth. He wouldn't be able to play for a while still, but he was getting back in shape and most of all, he and Willy were so happy with their little girl. 

Freddie wanted this. He was deeply in love with Auston and they'd both been thrilled when Freddie found out that he was pregnant. They'd been trying for months and had talked about starting a family for even longer. Freddie had been getting a little discouraged when nothing worked for the first couple months, then he finally got a positive test result and was so ecstatic that he'd phoned Auston while he was at practice to tell him. Auston had come straight home and he'd taken such good care of Freddie since, never leaving his side when he had really bad morning sickness, making sure he was eating enough and that he took his vitamins every day and making him feel so loved and frankly, beautiful as he carried their baby. 

But now that he was eight months pregnant, he had no idea why Auston kept telling him that he was gorgeous. His complexion was glowy, but that was about the only positive change he could see in his body. He felt bloated all the time, was pretty sure that his protruding abdomen was well-beyond the point of "adorable," he was moody and his ankles hurt so much. 

In short, he felt terrible. He _looked _terrible. And even though he felt like he should feel more connected to and appreciative of his body, he kind of hated it right now as he looked in the mirror. None of his old clothes fit anymore and he wasn't even sure how much longer the sweatpants he had on would. Luckily, he had a few loose enough shirts, but they were also starting to get uncomfortable and his chest felt sore, too. But he didn't want to go without a shirt -- he felt like he looked way too out of shape and he had some stretch marks too, despite using all the oils and butters that had apparently worked for Mitch...

Before getting pregnant, Freddie had never really been one to cry much. Even during pregnancy, he hadn't been too much more emotional than usual... until the last month or so. Twice in one week, he'd flipped out because Auston had told him that he looked so cute pregnant and the second time was when Auston apologized with uncharacteristc timidness, trying to explain that he loved that everyone could tell that Freddie was pregnant with _their _baby and that it was a good thing... except that hadn't been the right thing to say either. Then, in the blink of an eye, Freddie had started crying because he felt so bad for getting mad at Auston when Auston was really just trying to tell him that he thought he looked beautiful no matter what and for being so unreasonable. He'd cried for at least a half hour because Auston was being so sweet to him and so understanding despite his outbursts. This had been their new normal at least a few times a month now and even though Auston never faulted him for it, he hated how out of control he felt. Mood swings like this had never been an issue for Mitch and especially given how cuddly he and Willy were while Mitch was pregnant, Freddie felt so guilty for pushing Auston away. 

Guilt, scrutinizing his body for over fifteen minutes (and concluding that his thighs were bigger than they were three weeks ago), feeling tired from being too hot and uncomfortable to sleep properly the previous night, missing hockey and just _done_ with being pregnant, Freddie sat on his and Auston's bed defeatedly and started to cry. The baby was kicking him now too and while most of the times it was nice knowing that he was there and healthy, this time, Freddie just felt uncomfortable and it kind of hurt, too. 

He was hoping that he'd get ahold of himself before Auston got home from the gym, but he couldn't and he was still crying and miserable when Auston found him in their room. 

"Freddie? Sweetie, what's wrong?" Auston asked, sounding panicked as he hurried over to his boyfriend, kneeling on the floor in front of him as he took his hands. 

"...I-I hate this..." Freddie cried, crying harder still when he realized that he couldn't even bend forward to get closer to Auston because his swollen stomach was in the way. "I hate feeling this heavy a-and emotional...I-I don't even fell like this is my body anymore; I haven't been able to sleep and he won't stop kicking... and I hate that all I do is get mad at you and complain to you," he sniffled. 

"Aww... sweetheart, come here," Auston kissed Freddie's hands before standing then settling on their bed, gently pulling Freddie between his legs as he leaned against the headboard so that Freddie could use him as a body pillow. 

"Freddie, you're amazing," Auston kissed his boyfriend deeply, resting a hand on Freddie's bump in an effort to calm their very active son down. "I'd never be able to do what you're doing and I can't imagine how hard it is. I really mean it when I tell you you're beautiful, that your body is beautiful," he kissed down Freddie's neck and along his shoulder, smiling against his soft skin as he felt Freddie finally relax against him. "I love you." 

"I love you too," Freddie felt like he was going to cry again and it was frustrating, but he finally smiled a little as Auston laughed when he told him. 

He still had a month to go and he knew that he was just going to feel more and more uncomfortable, but with Auston like this, cuddling him and massaging his shoulders and ankles as they started on a list of names for their baby, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. 


	6. Kasperi Kapanen/Kyle Dubas

Some say that Kappy is Kyle's trophy husband and maybe he is. He's just over ten years younger than Kyle and even though Kyle is fairly young himself, his achievements and success far surpass his age. Kappy's young and he looks pretty on Kyle's arm. When Kyle brings him to high profile charity events and black tie corporate dinners, he's quiet and shy, almost a wallflower. Kyle never leaves his side though: he introduces him to all his colleagues, doesn't try to situate them so that Kappy's not in the frame when reporters stop him for an interview. Kappy's a little shorter than Kyle, but he's a professional athlete and it shows in the way that the designer suits that Kyle carefully coordinates for him frame his lean, muscled figure. In Toronto, a city that greatly values its hockey and is also a glamourous metropolis, one of the Leaf's most promising players in a relationship with the team's GM makes them a bit of a power couple, if not a controversial one. 

Those who are interested in gossip more than the game are pretty sure that Kyle's trade negotiations to get Kappy on the Leafs are about a lot more than his potential and skill on the ice. Some think that they had something going on before Kappy even got drafted and those who are critical of Kyle, who doubt that he's experienced enough to manage the team, theorize that Kappy's just part of the image he has to maintain, that out of the public eye, Kyle's cold and distant. 

Sometimes, when they come home or they sneak an intimate moment in Kyle's office, Kyle is a little withdrawn and Kappy can't figure out what he's thinking. 

\---

The speculation goes the other way, too. Kappy's a little reckless -- he's only 23 and Toronto is still new to him, so he gets tattoos and sometimes, the media catches him coming out of a bar or a restaurant late at night with his friends. Tabloids sensationalize his outings -- he's cheating, hooking up, drinking himself into oblivion and Kyle might not even care. He's a gold digger, they say, and when he has a dry spell scoring, he's taking an easy way out, spreading his legs to keep his place on the roster instead of playing better hockey. Maybe it's how he got drafted in the first place. 

Kyle's attractive and relatable to a younger generation, so he's the only GM in the league that has his own little group of admirers. Some of them think that Kappy's just using him for money, for fame, for status and all he has to do in exchange is just sit and look pretty. Some of them are more in Kyle's corner than his and others who just don't like him and his hockey tweet the jokes, leave derisive remarks in Youtube comment sections and even degrade him on his own social media pages. 

Kyle does buy him expensive things and it's nice not to feel alone on long road trips, when Kappy sneaks into Kyle's suite once he's sure the teammate he's sharing a room with is asleep. 

\---

The press has a field day when they find out that Kappy's pregnant. Some of the nastier blogs and forums question whether the baby is Kyle's; others wonder if this is what Kyle ultimately needed from him, a child to complete their picture-perfect, white-picket fence image and who better than an attractive, younger partner to give him a baby. Or maybe this is what Kappy needs to ensure a secure financial future when, at four months pregnant, he announces that he's going on a hiatus from hockey. Maybe, they say, he's just not good enough to make a living on the ice and he's finally accepted it.

Kappy has a difficult pregnancy. His morning sickness is so severe that he's hospitalized for three days during his first trimester. He can't stop throwing up not only in the morning but also during the day, usually only has a few hours reprieve in the night before it starts all over again. He's an adult and he's had terrible injuries in hockey, which he's dealt with mostly alone before. But when he's curled up on the bathroom floor at five in the morning, exhausted but not daring to go back to bed because he knows he's going to be sick again soon, he cries because he feels like shit, Kyle isn't there, and he's been warned to expect worse because male pregnancies are always harder. He can't imagine how it could be worse than the intense nausea he's dealing with when Kyle is on the road with the team.

Photos of him leaving the hospital alone circulate online.

During his second trimester, he starts feeling better physically, but he feels overwhelmed by how his body's changing, even if it's only temporary. He puts on weight and it's stressful at first because he's used to following meal plans, working out and skating evey day. Rude tabloids provide glimpses of him when he leaves the house, when he meets up with Mitch, Auston and Willy for lunch, or some of his friends from Finland come to visit, and they say that Kyle's going to get tired of him because those designer suits don't fit anymore and he's no longer a professional athlete. His friends tell him not to give a shit about what the media's spinning; Mitch is so excited about the baby and his enthusiasm about baby clothes and names makes Kappy feel better. It's easier not to dwell on how tired he feels, but it's still hard because his body's growing a baby and he doesn't feel like defending himself against public assumptions anymore. 

Most of the time, he just misses Kyle. 

He's in labor for seventeen hours. He cries through most of it, almost passes out twice and actually does faint once, and he alternates between desperately wanting Kyle to be there and wishing that they'd never slept together. He doesn't wish that they'd never met though, he'd never. 

Kyle's in Montréal and he leaves on the first plane back to Toronto, right in the middle of a game. Kappy's more important, their son is more important. He already feels so guilty that he couldn't be by Kappy's side throughout the whole pregnancy. When he's on the road, he video calls Kappy every day and he knows that Kappy doesn't feel well through most of it, that the media's giving him a hard time. He's angry when Kappy tells him he'd spent three days in the hospital only on the day he was discharged, not at Kappy, but at the people who say Kappy's a distraction and a little at himself. Kappy shouldn't have felt as though he was pulling Kyle away from work by telling him that he needed him; Kyle should've made it clearer that it's always going to be Kappy and their baby first. He makes it in time for their son's birth and doesn't care about the reporters that somehow find out which hospital Kappy is at. 

He takes the next month off, because he's been away from home long enough. 

\---

It's barely seven in the morning and Kappy already sees the huge mess he's going to have to clean up as he tries to settle his seven month old in his high chair so that he can feed him his breakfast of oatmeal with pureed peaches and a little yogurt. It's a disaster, because Jaakko's very happy this morning, which means lots of his babbling and giggles and his constant, curious desire to touch and play with everything, including his food. So Kappy has peaches on his shirt, globs of oatmeal all the way up his forearms and he's pretty sure that there's yogurt in his hair. 

"You just find this fun, don't you," Kappy says to his baby with fond exasperation in Finnish. 

It's really important to Kyle that their son knows as much about Kappy's home country as they can give him while he's probably going to grow up in Toronto. He'd started learning a little Finnish himself when he and Kappy started dating because he wanted to impress the beautiful boy who makes him feel, in his thirties, like he should be Google-teaching himself a language in order to be good enough for him. Kappy gets a little emotional when Kyle tells him that he wants to give their baby a Finnish name and he tears up when he goes downstairs one morning to find that Kyle has discretely labeled everything in their kitchen with its Finnish name so that it's easier for him and their son to learn as he gets older. 

Pre-baby, he would've just taken his shirt off right there in the kitchen, just like how he'd strip down with all the other guys in the change rooms after games. But even though his body's returning to normal and his stomach's toned again, he doesn't quite feel the same and he gets a little self-conscious. Kyle tells him he's beautiful though and if Kappy had any doubts, the way Kyle looks at him, kisses him, touches him, the way he'd made love to him when he was eight months pregnant is all the convincing he needs. 

Instead, he's still trying to coax Jaakko to eat his breakfast properly while cleaning up the floor, the table, the chairs, even the walls when Kyle finds him. He laughs at the scene before him and Kappy pouts as their son decides to smear a handful of oatmeal across his face. 

"Why don't you go get ready and I'll take care of breakfast," Kyle smiles, leaving his suit jacket on the back of a kitchen chair and rolling up his sleeves. 

"Umm... Are you sure that's a good idea?" Kappy asks, looking pointedly at his husband's work-ready outfit.

Kyle insists and Kappy doesn't know how he does it but by the time he's out of the shower and changed, Kyle's fed Jaakko, cleaned and changed him, returned the kitchen to order and he has coffee and breakfast ready for Kappy. It's kind of always been like this: Kyle has things together and Kappy sometimes feels like he's figuring things out as he goes. He's not yet 30, so maybe it makes sense that he feels like he's improvising life, but he sometimes feels like Kyle could do a lot better and could have a more mature partner. When he tells Kyle so, Kyle disagrees. He loves Kappy for who he is. He loves how Kappy can be spontaneous, loves how he doesn't hesitate to call other GMs, coaches and commissioners stupid assholes, like the 25 year old he is, when Kyle comes home quiet and exhausted after a long day of negotiations. 

He loves Kappy because it was never about the money, or the events. Kappy's his person, just like he's Kappy's. He knows that silence means that Kappy's feeling self-conscious about his English, not sure if he's going to be able to keep up in conversation and that as much as he can run his mouth about Kyle's more difficult colleagues when it's just them, they intimidate him when he has to see them at functions. So Kyle makes sure not to leave him alone and he makes it a little easier for him by getting his outfits ready. He knows "fancy" isn't really Kappy's thing and he's happy to figure out the logistics for him. 

Sometimes, they still have to figure out how they fit into each other's lives, but they know that they do. Kappy struggled to adjust to a new country, with a new language and hockey team when he first arrived, but Kyle keeps him grounded and it's always him Kappy goes home to. And with him, Kyle doesn't have to second guess why he's sticking around; unlike with previous partners, he knows that Kappy actually loves him and doesn't care about his money. The son they now have together is the icing on the cake and as Kappy stops for a moment before he reenters the kitchen, smiling as he watches Kyle hold their son and clean up after him, he kind of wants another baby. Not just yet and he knows that after how sick he got and how much pain he was in with their first, Kyle will want him to make the first move if they're going to have more kids. Kappy had always been a little wary of building a life outside hockey, but with Kyle, he's realized that it's ok for him to find happiness in other things, too. 

The public doesn't know; the public doesn't need to know. They can think whatever they want about Kappy and Kyle, but they know what they have between them. 


	7. Matthew Tkachuk/Leon Draisaitl

When Matt and Leon move into their new house, Leon decides to get them a king bed. Matt thinks it's a little ridiculous: combined with the polished wooden oversized frame that leaves at least a foot of space between its edge and the mattress and the silk sheets they've selected, it adds up to quite the purchase. With both their salaries, they admittedly don't really need to worry about cost and given the price of the home that's now theirs, just outside downtown Edmonton, they hadn't really been on a particular budget to begin with. Still, by sheer size alone, it's larger than anything Matt's ever bought for himself and every time he walks into their bedroom, he can't stop staring. But Leon's sure that they'll appreciate the size one day, thinking ahead to potential injuries and how it'd be beneficial to have the extra space. 

A pretty big part of him also just wants to give Matt nice things. 

"It's just so... there," Matt explains on their fourth night in their house when he and Leon are getting ready for bed. 

They've finally finished unpacking most of what they'd brought with them; even a significant portion of the home gym they're building is set up. It's been tiring, but Matt loves it, loves seeing his and Leon's future coming together. He's still not too sure where their excessively sized bed comes in though: even when he's on his side of the bed, Matt can't quite reach the edge of the mattress when he stretches his arms all the way out and he and Leon always end up cuddling somewhere in the middle anyways, an obscene amount of space surrounding them when they wake up.

"Hmm... What can I do to convince you?" Leon smirks, kissing suggestively along Matt's shoulder from behind. 

Matt smiles, rolling his eyes as he turns around, Leon pulling him closer by his waist as he rests his hands on Leon's chest. 

"Keep doing that," he says just as flirtatiously as he leans in. 

Leon smiles, kissing him in response as he works his hands under Matt's shirt. And Matt has to admit that it's nice, but Leon making love to him is always nice and it doesn't matter whether they're in a massive bed or jammed in something a quarter of the size, like the one time they decide to do something crazy and take the train across Germany. For whatever reason, they book economy -- the whole trip is on impulse; even Leon had never gone across his home country like this -- and they end up in a small room with a bunk. Matt ends up in Leon's bed anyways. 

He really does appreciate having so much space when they both get home after the Oilers play the Flames in Edmonton a couple months after they move in. He's sore all over and he knows Leon is too. Neither of them even had a day in between their last game and the one they'd just played and Leon had had a five hour flight coming back to Edmonton from the United States. They're so tired when they get in that it's all they can do to heat up the meals they'd prepared before the game, change and crawl into bed. Matt feels extremely grateful for showers at the arena; he's not sure that he could've stayed awake long enough to shower at home. 

"I guess I kind of like it," Matt says, or rather slurs as he closes his eyes and somehow finds Leon's hand anyways. 

They're both nearly passed out on their stomachs, facing each other and half asleep already. 

"...It?" Leon questions, also falling asleep and feeling about as coherent as Matt as he intertwines their fingers, their hands meeting between them. 

"The bed," Matt supplies, burrowing further into the fluffy pillows they'd bought. 

Leon smiles, kissing Matt's hand. 

"Told you," he said.

"Mmhh..." Matt manages before they both fall asleep. 

Somehow, they've made their way into each other's arms in the night and Matt wakes up in the middle of the bed again with Leon's arms around him, but maybe he can get used to the flagrant space around him because he can stretch his legs and slowly wake his still sore muscles without having to move far from Leon.

\--------

For better and for worse, their bed is a fixture when Leon's sister comes to visit, bringing along his five year old and three year old niece and nephew. They're just starting school and don't speak much English. Matt's German isn't great either, but he's been studying diligently since he and Leon started dating and between Leon, his sister and her husband's translations, he gets by pretty well.

He bonds with the kids over what they don't really have to say, though. Matt's hair isn't long, but it's long enough and definitely curly enough that Leon's niece can try a bunch of hairstyles on him, which she loves to do. She thinks he's pretty (Leon agrees) and she likes doing his makeup with the thick, tacky and somewhat terrifyingly sparkly play cosmetics she brings along and her little brother, who's at an age where he's blindly copying everything his older sister does just because she's his older sister, chips in too. By the end of the day, Leon has to help Matt take it all off -- they actually have to go out and buy micellar water and three kinds of cleansing oil because nothing else is strong enough to remove it. 

"Scheisse... what's in this?" Leon asks, amazed as the garrishly bright pink and waxy lip..._stuff_ that the kids had painted on Matt's lips in several layers resists his third attempt to get it off. 

Matt actually has to lie down so that Leon can apply more force as he tries to wipe the makeup off Matt's lips. They've managed his eyelids and cheeks, but this is just something else. At this point, they're surrounded by used makeup wipes and saturated cotton balls, and Matt's pretty sure that some of the makeup is going to get on their bed sheets. Kids' makeup is apparently vengeful like that. 

"It's probably toxic," Matt sighs, glad for the expanse of their bed because this has been their nightly routine every day since the kids got there and if his skin's going to have to go through this for a couple weeks more, at least the rest of his body can be comfortable. 

"Probably," Leon agrees, awed as Matt's lips are still sparkly and stained pink.

"At least it's not the fake eyelashes this time though," Matt says, because that had almost been a medical emergency. "Oww..." 

"Sorry," Leon backs off at once, cringing as he realizes that he's no longer sure if Matt's lips are that red because there's still lipgloss on them or because he's rubbed them raw. 

There's still glitter on them though, so there's that. 

Leon goes to throw out all the wipes they've used and comes back with a soothing camomile lip balm. In the end, it's kisses that make Matt's lips feel a little better. 

"You're the best, Matty," Leon smiles, nuzzling his neck. 

And as had also been their routine for the last few weeks, they were woken up by the kids jumping on their bed in the morning, because their bed apparently doubled as a trampoline, too. 

\--------

Leon gets Matt pregnant three years after they move in together. It's a bit of a surprise because they want kids in the future, but they weren't planning on it just yet. Still, they're excited about it and when Leon's absolutely sure that this is what Matt wants, he's ecstatic that he's going to be a dad. 

Matt wants Leon to hold him, because he's spent two weeks straight throwing up every morning and he feels terrible. But even after multiple showers with unscented soap, Leon somehow still smells a little like the woodsy-citrus cologne he always wears and which Matt usually loves, but it's recently become a major trigger for his nausea. It's not the same as having Leon close to him and Matt knows it's hard for Leon too, but it does help that their bed is large enough so that Leon can still be there somewhere beside him, but far enough so that Matt can't pick up on any scents that might set him off. 

When he starts feeling better and gets his appetite back, Leon brings him breakfast in bed because he knows that Matt's tired in a way that's less intense but more draining than exhaustion from hockey. As happy as he is that they're going to be parents, Matt's dealing with a lot. His body doesn't really feel like his body, he's put on long term injury reserve at least until he decides whether he wants to keep playing after he has the baby and reporters are being pretty persistent once they find out. He's well taken care of by everyone, especially Leon, but male pregnancies are always a little riskier than average and sometimes, he feels a little fragile. Matt doesn't feel 100% and he definitely doesn't feel like explaining to the general public that his and Leon's relationship off the ice and the baby they're expecting together have nothing to do with the Battle of Alberta, thank you. Instead, he spends most of his first trimester wanting to hide away in bed. 

Once his stomach settles and he goes more than three mornings in a row without throwing up, Leon comes in and cuddles him, makes sure that he's ok and that he knows just how amazing he thinks he is for going through all this. Matt likes spending lazy mornings in bed with Leon, waking up to him whispering in a mix of German and English to his stomach before he realizes that Matt's awake. 

As his pregnancy progresses, Matt feels apologetic for every time he's ever thought their huge bed was unnecessary, because it definitely isn't. When he gets big enough that he can only sleep on his side, it's a welcome relief to at least be able to take up as much space as he wants to and there's plenty of room for them both when Leon massages his swollen ankles and sore back. And when he finally has their baby, a boy they've named Jonas, their bed is perfect because neither of them want to leave it when it's just the three of them. 

\-------

Matt has another baby in the next two years and he doesn't mind putting hockey aside to be there for their two boys. Their oldest is five and absolutely idolizes Leon and their youngest, Lukas, is nearly four and seems to be more interested in figure skating than in hockey. Matt's sister is already picking out the sparkly costumes he can wear once he actually starts doing proper routines, and Matt and Leon support anything their sons want to do. 

Matt loves being a father and over the years, he's built his own friend network in Edmonton. There's plenty to do with the boys and the owner of the rink where their boys skate has asked him if he'd consider coaching some of the kids' hockey teams. Without fail, Leon video calls them every day when he's on the road and if it's not a home game, Matt and the boys camp out on the couch with the dogs to watch Leon and Uncle Brady play. 

Sometimes Matt really misses Leon though, and he wonders if this is what his mom went through when his dad was still playing. Leon's Matt's life partner and there are nights when the bed is definitely too big without him there. He's so proud of Leon and understands better than anyone the importance of what he's doing, but he really misses kissing him when Leon's away for more than a week at a time. 

Because they're pretty sensitive to Matt's feelings and they also miss their other dad a lot, the nights that Leon's away often find the boys in their parents' bed. Matt tells them stories about their grandpas' hockey careers (he can say a lot of things in German now, but he kind of needs his eldest son to help him pronounce "Bundesliga" when he's talking about Grandpa Draisaitl, because the word's harder to say than it looks), about growing up in St. Louis and the child-friendly version of the trips he and Leon have made to Germany. They take the boys back every year during the off-season, but so far, they've mostly stayed in Leon's home town and the surrounding area, saving the more comprehensive travels for when the boys are a little older. When they fall asleep, Matt stays awake a little longer and just watches them, smiling as he realizes how much they both look like Leon the older they get, but they definitely have his curls. With their two dogs situated somewhere at the foot of the bed (or inconsiderately draped over Matt as they try to snuggle with the boys, because they'd pretty much forgotten that Matt and Leon exist as soon as Jonas was born), the empty space that Leon leaves in Matt's heart every time he goes doesn't make him feel as lonely and longing. 

He knows that Leon misses them just as much when he takes a picture of the messy kid-dog pile in their bed and sends it to Leon, and gets an "I love you so much" a few seconds later in return. 

\--------

The bed's just the right size when Leon returns from long roadtrips and their kids don't want to let him out of their sight. Having their boys sleep in between them for at least a few consecutive nights means that they have to be patient before they can have the intimate reunion they've both been craving, but Matt doesn't mind because Leon somehow finds a way to reach across their kids and get a hand on Matt's hip. 

"You were right," Matt whispers one night, their boys sound asleep between them. "About the bed." 

Leon grins and they meet halfway over their kids for a kiss, nevermind that Matt probably won't be able to feel his legs in the morning because their 35 kilo lab has chosen to use his body as a mattress tonight. 

He has his own little family, that's both everything and more than he'd ever thought he needed. 


	8. Jakob Chychrun/Max Domi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mentioned miscarriages

Jake knows that it's normal for expecting parents to worry that their child will be born with some kind of health problem or concern, especially when it's their first, like it is for him and Max. They're young, not yet thirty, but they've wanted kids together for a long time, so everything feels like it's on thin ice when they find out that Jake's finally pregnant. Jake's had two miscarriages before, as well -- his first, he hadn't even known he'd been pregnant and they weren't thinking about starting a family for another few years, and his second, more traumatic, had happened after he and Max had been trying for three months. He'd cried for a whole day after Max had brought him back from the hospital and he'd spent the whole week in bed, not so much resting as he was crying and trying to figure out where he'd gone wrong. Despite knowing that male pregnancies have much higher chances for miscarriages, he couldn't help blaming himself for losing their baby. He knew that Max was sad about it too -- they'd been so happy after Jake finally had a positive test -- but Max was just perfect, as always. He'd join Jake in bed and just hold him without saying anything, let Jake cry as much as he needed to, reassure him that it wasn't his fault and he'd make sure he was eating properly and looked after. 

Now, Jake is just over six months along and so far, everything is ok. His most recent scans show that the baby is healthy, he gets kicked all the time and he generally feels well. He'd had severe morning sickness at the beginning and sometimes, he feels a little nauseous even now, but his appetite is returning and he's not too far behind the amount of weight he should be gaining at this point in his pregnancy. He doesn't really have much energy and he is definitely not allowed to even attempt most of the exercises he's used to doing for hockey training, but it's the off-season and he and Max go out for long walks in the evening. He knows that he has to take things easy, but it's been a while since he's even put on skates and sometimes, it's a little stressful to not have his usual routine. Max is good at helping him relax though: he knows how to kiss Jake until he can't think about anything else, how he likes being massaged when his ankles feel sore and he makes him feel attractive and desirable when he just feels gross and bloated. 

Most of all, Max helps calm him down and believes that he can actually do this -- bring their baby into the world and be a good parent. 

Sometimes, Jake gets a little irrationally scared that something's going to go wrong again. He worries that despite having the rare gene, his body's not cut out to do this after all. He feels more fatigued than anyone else he's talked to who's been pregnant, even other guys, and he worries that it's a bad sign. There're still three months left and anything could happen in that time. He's also concerned that even if he manages to have the baby without any problems, he's going to be a lousy parent. He grew up with a number of younger cousins, so it's not as though he doesn't have any experience with kids. But this is _his _kid and sometimes, he still feels like he's barely looking after himself. He's not the greatest cook, he doesn't really know how to hold a baby properly, isn't great at calming down a kid who's too young to actually tell him what's wrong and even now, at nearly 26 years old, there've been a few occasions on which he's almost been late to practice or team breakfast, so how can he trust himself to bring his kid to school on time?

He feels kind of stupid when he lists all his worries to Max, because it doesn't sound like something that someone who's ready to have a baby would say. But Max just listens and tells him everything's going to be alright -- their baby is and will be fine, he loves their baby so much already so how could be a lousy parent? and between the two of them, they're bound to get most of the day-to-day things about raising a family right. 

Max is always so level-headed and rational, so Jake wonders what he's thinking one evening when they're just cuddling on the sofa and Max is quiet, looking a little preoccupied as he caresses Jake's stomach, their baby occasionally shifting under his hands. At first, Jake doesn't really like how it feels when their baby moves and it still feels weird, but he's happy that Max can feel it too, now. 

"What's on your mind?" He asks softly, kissing Max's cheek. 

Max stays quiet for a moment and absently keeps rubbing Jake's bump before he kisses Jake's shoulder and sighs. 

"...I guess I'm just worried our kid's going to turn out like me," he starts and Jake frowns a little but lets him keep going. "Like if they have diabetes... I know it's not the end of the world, but it's not easy sometimes."

Jake runs his fingers through Max's hair and kisses the corner of his mouth. He knows that even now, Max does have additional challenges being a professional athlete and having diabetes; as much as he's inspired others, he does doubt himself sometimes and Jake is one of the only people he'll share these doubts with. 

"Well then if they do, they'll have the best dad ever to show them how amazing they can still be," Jake says firmly, because he knows that he wouldn't have been able to make it this far in hockey, or his pregnancy, or a lot of other things without his best friend, and he knows that Max is going to be an amazing father. 

Max smiles and kisses Jake because he loves him and there's no one else he'd rather do this with. 

\------

Jake has their daughter a few months later and Max misses a couple games so he can be there. Her birth is uncomplicated, but it still takes a long time and Jake cries through a lot of it. Max cries to when he holds her for the first time. 

They name her Lucy and she already looks a little like both of them, with Max's brown hair and Jake's blue eyes. They both cry some more the first time she opens her eyes and Jake knows that they're both already totally gone for her. He knows that he's going to keep worrying about her and Max probably will too, because she's _theirs_, but between the two of them, Jake's also pretty sure that they'll figure things out and keep each other grounded.


	9. Kasperi Kapanen/Kyle Dubas

On any given day, Kappy's bound to be just waking up while Kyle's already been working for at least a couple hours. It isn't that Kappy's not a morning person, although there are admittedly times at which he'd rather not yet be up: especially if coffee's promised and he has to go to an early morning skate, he finds a way. It's been easier since he moved in with Kyle a few months ago, though; Kyle's always on top of things and he likes taking care of Kappy in ways he can't when there's hockey and Kappy has to be #24 while Kyle has to live up to being one of the NHL's youngest ever GMs. When it's just the two of them though, he can make Kappy breakfast, and kiss along his bare shoulders in the morning to wake him up, and when they're in the kitchen together, he can lift Kappy up onto the counter and make out with him until they absolutely have to get ready or else they'll be late. Knowing he gets to kiss Kyle and that he'll end up going to practice with a few bruises and bites along his neck and sometimes his inner thighs makes Kappy all that more willing to get out of bed, too. 

It's been a bit harder to get up over the last few days though, like a lot harder. Usually, once Kappy's up, he's up. He might still be tired and a little sluggish at least until he's had coffee (and a few kisses), but he doesn't feel like he's actually going to cry if he has to get out of bed like he does right now. 

He feels weird and he has for a few days now. He doesn't feel sick, exactly. Just... _strange_. He has a few headaches throughout the day, not migraines and they go away pretty quickly, but he usually never gets headaches. And his stomach feels a little unsettled in the morning, regardless of what he's eaten the night before. The slight nausea he feels goes away, usually after he's brushed his teeth, but it keeps coming back the day after and he's starting to wonder if he should be concerned.

Kyle starts noticing after the third or fourth day that Kappy feels off. Kappy falls asleep on the way to the arena one morning which, even for him, isn't normal especially since he'd gone to bed unusually early the night before. They're not yet public about their relationship even though they've been together for over two years and while they usually arrive at the arena together, they split ways in the parking lot before the others see them. It's not that they're ashamed of each other; it's just easier this way given their professional relationship and high profiles. But this time, Kappy's just really tired and Kyle's worried, so he carries Kappy's stuff in for him and keeps a steadying arm around Kappy's waist as Kappy leans on his shoulder. He already feels drained and he's not too sure how he's going to make it through practice. 

"Sweetheart, are you ok?" Kyle asks softly when they're in the building, out of sight.

"Mmh... yeah I think so. I'm just tired..." Kappy says and smiles weakly, but he knows from the way Kyle's looking at him that he's not convinced. 

They're still early, so Kyle takes Kappy back to his office. Kappy falls asleep on the sofa that Kyle has in there almost as soon as they walk in, and if Kyle was worried before, he's just short of panicking now. His job depends on his critical thinking skills and rationality, and he's used to seeing guys take bad hits but still come out ok. It's how he figures out that he's falling in love with Kappy, because he's always a little less rational where Kappy's concerned. But this really can't be normal -- Kappy only ever takes a nap before a game and he looks like he's already sound asleep, curled up on the couch. 

Kyle has work to do, as always, but he winds up watching Kappy sleep for most of the hour they have before they need to be at the rink. He knows he's not a doctor, but he's wracking his mind for what might be wrong with Kappy, because something clearly is. He always wishes that he could kiss Kappy in front of everyone, hold his hand and let the whole world know they're together, but he especially wants to now, because he's worried about Kappy going to practice like this. 

He lets Kappy sleep as long as he can before he gently wakes him up, kneeling down as he kisses Kappy and traces along his cheekbones until pretty green-hazel eyes flutter open. 

"Are you sure you're ok to go to practice?" Kyle asks, running his fingers through Kappy's soft hair. 

Kappy nods and sits up slowly, but he looks so tired still and Kyle almost wants to tell him that he _can't _go to practice like this. He pushes himself hard too, and there've been quite a few nights when Kappy has to tell Kyle to call it a night and that whatever budget or strategic plan he's been working on for hours can wait until morning. So maybe it's a bit hypocritical to want to keep Kappy from going, but it's kind of what they do: take care of each other especially when the other's kind of forgetting that it's ok to need a break. 

"I've felt worse during some games," he tries to smile, but he's still so fatigued that he's not even sure if he can walk down to the locker room. 

Kyle holds his hands in his and looks like he's scrutinizing him. Kappy blushes from the intensity of his gaze and he knows that Kyle would prefer that he sits this practice out. He kind of doesn't want to go either, because he feels so damn _tired _and he's wondering if he should talk to one of the team doctors because he also just feels weird no matter how much he sleeps, but he's used to just toughing things out, especially when it comes to hockey. 

Kyle knows this and he knows that Kappy's made his mind up. So he kisses the younger man's forehead before shouldering his equipment bag and wrapping an arm around his waist, taking him down to the locker room. 

"What if someone sees?" Kappy protests half-heartedly, because he likes how this feels, likes letting Kyle look after him sometimes, but he also knows that they don't want to give themselves away just yet. 

Kyle just kisses his cheek and pulls him a little closer. 

"If you change your mind, just come find me and I'll take you home," Kyle says softly against Kappy's lips before he kisses him and reluctantly leaves him before the other guys start coming in. 

Kappy's determined to persevere through practice but by the time he's putting on his skates, he's already wondering if he should just go back to Kyle's office. He's so tired that he can't really follow any of the conversations the guys are having and he even has to ask Kasimir to repeat himself when he says something to him in Finnish. 

Somehow, he makes it through practice. He doesn't play badly, but he knows it's far from his best and about an hour in, even this, even _hockey _practice, becomes something he just wants to get through. He doesn't feel like he can skate any faster, doesn't feel like thinking strategically; hell, he doesn't feel like thinking. He didn't have much for breakfast, so that's not helping, and by the time he gets to the shower, he wonders if he's going to faint. He does his best to hide how he's feeling, but some of the guys ask him if he's ok, anyways. He manages to laugh it off and just tells them that he didn't get much sleep the night before. It's not true; he's slept almost twice as long as he normally would, but he's still exhausted.

Kyle meets him halfway on his way back to the office and he's glad they're alone because he doesn't remember his equipment bag being this heavy. 

"Do you want to see a doctor?" Kyle asks, concerned by how pale Kappy now looks, too. 

"... It's ok," Kappy manages, gratuitously leaning into Kyle's chest. "I'm probably just coming down with something; 's not a big deal..."

Kyle gives a noncommittal hum and just leads Kappy to the car, carrying both his briefcase and his boyfriend's equipment. Kappy dozes off on the drive back and Kyle makes him go to bed as soon as they get home, although Kappy doesn't need much persuasion. He knows that Kappy likes breakfast for dinner, so he makes him his favorite vegetable omelette and avocado toast. Kappy tries his best to eat, but he has to do so very slowly because he's starting to feel a little nauseous on top of everything too, although it could just be because he hasn't eaten much all day. 

"Don't go to practice tomorrow, honey," Kyle kisses Kappy's shoulder from behind when he joins him in bed that night. 

It's pretty rare that he's in bed before midnight, but he knows that Kappy likes cuddles when he's sick, so it's not hard to make a decision between MLSE's strategic plan and his boyfriend. He's not even sure if Kappy's awake, but then Kappy snuggles back a little so that his back is pressed right up against Kyle's chest. 

"...'Kay..." Kappy agrees sleepily and Kyle kisses right over his tattoos again before he lies down beside him. 

People get sick sometimes; it's not that big a deal, Kyle knows this. But Kyle can't help but worry when it's Kappy, especially when Kappy's obviously feeling ill enough that he doesn't even argue about not going to practice. He kisses the back of Kappy's neck a few times and just holds him until he falls asleep, too. 

They're both up a few hours later though, because Kappy's urgently throwing Kyle's arms off him and sprinting to the bathroom, barely making it in time before he throws up. Kyle waits outside the bathroom for about an hour before Kappy finally comes out, not feeling as queasy, but definitely still exhausted and a little lightheaded, too. He kind of hates the taste of toothpaste now too, because he thinks he might've used about a quarter of a new tube just now. 

"I think I have one of those 24 hours flus or something," Kappy sighs, letting Kyle hold him and fuss over him. 

Kyle's not so sure because if fatigue is part of this, it's been more than 24 hours since Kappy's felt unwell. He doesn't push, but he takes the next couple days to work from home so he can take care of Kappy. And it's a good thing he does, because it's not a 24 hour bug, or even 48 hour. Like clockwork, Kappy keeps throwing up in the early hours of the morning and he spends the whole day in bed because he feels too weak to do anything else. His favorite foods and Kyle's cologne make him feel sick and after this goes on for a week, he can't really refuse a doctor's appointment anymore. 

Secrecy be damned, Kyle takes him to the team doctor and stays with him for the appointment. He holds Kappy's hand when the doctor asks him a bunch of questions and when the doctor asks him, not unkindly, if they're seeing each other, Kyle confidently wraps an arm around Kappy's waist and says yes when Kappy blushes and doesn't know how to respond. Kyle knows he's supposed to be professional about this, but he also knows that there's doctor-patient confidentiality in place here and it's maybe the place to start with telling the world that he's in love with Kasperi Kapanen. 

Kyle doesn't think much of it until the doctor then asks them if they're having sex, then it suddenly occurs to him why the doctor's asking and possibly why Kappy's been feeling so sick. He wonders if he should say something to Kappy when the doctor leaves to print out a requisition form for some tests he's ordering, because it doesn't look like Kappy's caught on at all. He's just really flushed now and he's clearly worried when he looks at Kyle. 

"Shit... we shouldn't have said anything," Kappy looks like he's panicking and Kyle can't help laughing as he pulls Kappy close and kisses his nose. 

He knows that Kappy's almost ten years younger than him and that this point in Kappy's career might not be the best time, and if Kappy doesn't want this, he'd never even think of making him or trying to persuade him to do otherwise. But he also knows that Kappy wants kids with him someday, that Kappy c_an _have their kids, and the chance that Kappy might be pregnant, the possibility that maybe Kappy's ready for this now is really exciting. They've talked about it recently and they're not exactly trying right now, but they're also not _not _trying and they're kind of ok with not being careful sometimes. 

"You don't know why he was asking about us?" Kyle smiles, teasing in a way he'd only ever be with Kappy. 

Kappy blinks in confusion and Kyle kisses him again. 

"He thinks you might be pregnant," Kyle can't help letting his hands wander to Kappy's hips, thumbing over his hipbones because he kind of wants to touch his stomach, but he's not sure if it's ok. 

"I'm...oh..." Kappy looks down at his hands. 

Kyle sobers up and becomes concerned at Kappy's reaction. He's ok, it's ok if Kappy isn't ready yet, or if he's completely changed his mind about kids, but he's a little worried about how quiet Kappy suddenly is. He's about to tell Kappy not to worry, that they have options, that it's his body and it's ok if he can't right now, but Kappy looks up at him then. 

"If I am... is it ok?" He asks shyly. "Like is this a good time...?" 

"It's up to you, sweetheart," Kyle says gently, and he feels overwhelmed by how much he loves Kappy. 

"Oh...Then I... um... I want to," Kappy continues softly. "I want to have a baby with you. Now," he finishes, blushing profusely. 

"Yeah?" Kyle grins, his hands resting on Kappy's cheeks as he runs his thumbs along the younger man's cheekbones and kisses him. 

"Yeah," Kappy smiles and nods, his hands on Kyle's wrists as he leans in closer. "I really want this." 

He giggles at how happy Kyle obviously is as he ravishes his lips again. He knows it's earlier than they planned still, knows that it means he'll have to sit out from hockey for at least a couple years and that a baby's going to change a lot of things. But he really does want this. Kyle would be an amazing father and he knows that he wants kids, too. 

They're really happy when they find out a few hours later that Kappy is pregnant. They don't have to tell the whole NHL that they're together yet, but they end up telling the team because Kappy's going to have to miss the next few seasons and they might as well know why. Everyone's surprised because they hadn't even caught on that Kappy and Kyle are together, but they're happy for them and by the end of the day, Kappy's not just relieved about knowing why he's been feeling sick. 

Kyle's so sweet to him -- he always is, but he's even more attentive than he already is, making sure that Kappy's ok when he has to go to the office. Kappy has a due date and Kyle completely books off the week before and the week after so that he can be there. When Kappy starts showing about a month later, they decide that it's safe to tell everyone around them. They didn't really have a choice but to tell the team, but Kappy was scared that something would happen if they told their families too soon. He knows it doesn't make much sense, but he just wants this so badly. Kyle's always been more of a rational thinker, but he knows how Kappy's feeling and he goes along with it. Kappy almost cries when he videocalls his sister and actually has a little bump to show them. He does cry when he goes and finds Kyle in his home office after, because he's just so happy.

Mornings are still rough and between mood swings, bizarre cravings and no longer skating just in case, Kappy's going through a lot all at once, but he knows it'll be so worth it and he can't wait to hold their baby for the first time. They don't care whether they're having a boy or a girl, so at Kyle's insistance, Kappy comes up with Finnish names for both genders and shares the new ones with him every night. They decide to keep the gender a surprise and it's one of the things that keeps Kappy going when the things he doesn't like about being pregnant become kind of intense. Sometimes, he feels like he's lost control over his body and his emotions and he's excited about feeling their baby move for the first time, but he also doesn't really like how it feels. By the time he reaches his fourth month, he doesn't have regular morning sickness anymore, but he doesn't feel great sometimes and he does feel a little nauseous at times. Even though it's Kyle's first child too, he just knows what to do to make Kappy feel better, though and as Kappy reaches the last couple months, he doesn't travel with the team as much because he knows that Kappy kind of wants him to stay but won't ask. 

He wants Kappy to know that he'd do anything for him. 

After what Kappy's pretty sure are the most painful ten hours of his life (those breathing/movement/whatever classes he took with Kyle don't help), they finally meet their baby girl, whom they name Linnea. Kappy cries and Kyle cries and they know that becoming parents is a big change, but they're thrilled about the new chapter they're writing together. Their daughter sleeps throughout the first few days they bring her home and Kappy's relieved because he's drained from being pregnant and giving birth. Then, she's waking them up every couple of hours throughout the night and Kappy's about a hundred times more exhausted than he felt at the beginning of his pregnancy, but it's ok. He and Kyle spend the late nights together, no matter how early Kyle has to be up in the morning. Kyle somehow always manages the later nights and early mornings, but Kappy knows what's making it hard for him to leave for work now is being away from them all day. But Kappy brings their baby with him when he visits Kyle at work and he can't help thinking how much he's lucked out when he watches Kyle show off their daughter. 

He likes being in Kyle's office the best though, when it's just the three of them: Kyle typing away or going through paperwork as Kappy nurses their baby on the sofa or just cuddles her while he reads and waits for Kyle to decide it's time to go home. He still takes naps in Kyle's office sometimes -- he's still recovering and the sofa there is almost more comfortable than the one they have at home -- and he smiles because he always falls asleep to the sight of Kyle cradling their baby so that he can stretch out and relax, holding her even when he has a conference call or contracts to review. He often reads the various clauses and legal terms to their daughter and it's more because he's thinking aloud to an audience that captured his heart from day one, but Kappy thinks it's so cute anyways. 

He doesn't want to get pregnant again for a while, but he does want another baby at some point, especially when he sees Kyle with their daughter. It'll happen later and maybe they'll be trying for it or maybe they won't, but he knows he'll want it and he'll be cared for when it does. 


	10. Freddie Andersen/Auston Matthews

Auston grew up playing hockey. It's not that he's not good at other things and his parents made sure that he turned out pretty well rounded, but hockey's what he knows best. He played professionally until he had his and Freddie's now four year old son, Alex, and if how their little boy runs up to him every morning because he's so excited to see him is anything to go by, then he supposes that he's pretty ok at being a parent so far, too. 

But hockey's what he knows best, especially in terms of teaching it to someone else, and now that he's looking at teaching their son at home for the whole year... well, it's a little daunting. 

To be fair, it's not like their son's learning anything complicated. He's almost five; Auston's taking it upon himself to follow a kindergarten curriculum. He's not alone either; Freddie's sitting the season out and he's of course going to help with their son's at-home education. They want their son to learn all the languages he can, so he's also learning Spanish from Auston (mainly from Auston's mom because Auston realized the other day that he kind of maybe forgot the Spanish word for "cheese" and that probably means he needs to sit in on his son's lessons, too) and Freddie teaches him Danish. After they've tucked their son in bed for the night, they go to their own room or the kitchen table and start taking apart what their son's supposed to learn in his first year of school. It's a lot of learning numbers, alphabets, patterns and general knowledge stuff that looks simple on paper, but Auston's kind of worried that he's going to do something wrong somehow. Their son is already as trilingual as a five year old can be, he's got a pretty good grasp on simple numbers, he's been to preschool and he's more or less memorized some of his favorite stories that Auston reads to him every night. But still. Auston's scared he'll do something wrong and screw up his son's ability to learn for the rest of his life... kind of like he was scared about hurting their baby somehow while he was pregnant. And just like Freddie was the voice of reason then, he keeps Auston grounded now.

"You're not going to mess him up, Aus," Freddie smiles, running his fingers along Auston's arms as Auston leans back against him, books all around them as Auston frets over everything they're planning to teach their son. "We're basically just doing what we're already doing with him but with more structure and more often." 

And yeah, Freddie kind of has a point. It's not like their son spontaneously taught himself to speak and read three different languages, after all. And Auston's one of those stay-home parents who tries to create the perfect domestic environment for their kids, so he has Alex on a pretty constructive schedule already. Auston met Freddie when he was only in his early twenties and at that time, he would never have imagined himself like this, but a lot changes when he finds out he's pregnant and he knows that he's going to be the best parent he can possibly be when he holds their son for the first time. He's his little boy's mother/father/parent and maybe hockey's what he feels the most competent at, but this is way more important and he really wants to do it right. 

So he worries still, even as he looks over some craft activity involving a bunch of obscenely bright colors and shapes that seems more than manageable but, like, he doesn't _know _what kind of cognitive or developmental benefits this activity is supposed to have. They're going to check in regularly with a real teacher online, but it's still so new and they really need to step up, and he feels more pressure than he did in his first NHL game. And Freddie kisses his shoulder, then his neck, then his cheek and finally his lips because he understands that Auston's anxious about this. He's doing his best to take on the challenge of teaching their son too, and he knows it's going to take a lot of preparation, but he's just as committed as Auston. He's not as worried though; he's always been calmer than Auston, maybe because he's older. So he's going to be there for Auston too, and give the man whom he loves more than he'd ever thought he could love someone all the reassurance he needs to believe he can do this for their family. 

"You've already done such an amazing job with him, baby," Freddie kisses Auston's neck. "He'll be fine if we teach him kindergarten stuff at home for a year." 

He's all too aware of how much Auston's invested in their son and continues to invest. Auston's one of the best and most dedicated hockey players that Freddie's ever met, but he doesn't think twice about putting hockey on hold to have their son and raise him after, too. And all the nights that Freddie's on the road, travelling North America for hockey and sometimes going back to Europe, too... he feels guilty no matter how supportive Auston is, no matter how much he knows that they both understand it's part of hockey and no matter how much their son, who's already showing a talent for skating, looks up to him. He's by no means absent from his son and his partner's lives, but he isn't around as often as he feels he should be and as he nears 36, young in all other industries but pro sports, he's not feeling apprehensive about retiring, like he thought he'd feel before their son was born.

Having a baby changes Auston's life a lot, even just by how it changes his body, but it changes Freddie's just as much, even if he's not the one who carried their son. He has different priorities now; Auston's always come first, even before he realized he was in love with him, but Auston's an adult and Freddie knows he can take care of himself. Freddie has nieces and nephews who were born before Auston had Alex, but it's still overwhelming the first time he holds his own son in the hospital, Auston so tired that he's semi-conscious in bed. So Freddie has a quiet moment with his son and he realizes how small their baby, who has Freddie's red hair and Auston's deep brown eyes, really is. He's completely dependent on them for at least the next 18 years -- it'll be considerably longer if he and Auston are anything to go by. He'd had seven months to prepare for fatherhood, from the day that Auston called him, crying because he just found out he's pregnant and he's scared because he didn't even know he could get pregnant and he's so, so sorry. Freddie's far from regretful; he wants a baby with Auston, but he also doesn't like how distressed Auston sounds and even if he's ready to be a dad, it doesn't mean that Auston is. And he knows even then that he wants a future with Auston; whatever Auston wants, he wants to. All he's ever wanted for a while now is to make Auston happy. 

It turns out that Auston's in shock because he's just discovered something pretty significant about his body, but that he's more scared about Freddie not wanting this and leaving him than anything else. For Freddie, Auston is his future, and it goes both ways, because he's Auston's, too. But Auston wants their baby, no matter how much it changes things and once he's calmed down a little and is sure that Freddie's happy about this, they finally celebrate their little surprise. 

It's not an easy seven months because Auston ends up getting sick enough to have to go to hospital for a few days for dehydration and of course it happens when Freddie's in the US for a game. Auston's mother comes to visit and help take care of Auston when Freddie can't, which Freddie's glad for but also guilty, because he feels like he's not doing a very good job as a boyfriend or as the man who's supposed to be taking care of her son. When he tells her one night when Auston's gone to bed early again, a little shyly, she just smiles and hugs him really hard and keeps looking after him like he's her son, too. He loves her more than ever and it makes him miss his own mother, too. It's probably then when the magnitude of the responsibility he has for his and Auston's baby hits him and it's when he realizes that all he really has to do is love their kid and make sure they growing up knowing he loves them. He promises Alex this much when he holds his little boy for the first time and hockey's since never quite been the number one priority it used to be. 

Because he loves Auston so, so much, he gets Auston through the pregnancy and he makes sure that he's there for when Auston gives birth. And just as he did then, he'll help Auston get through this, too. He listens intently when Auston feels like he's being irrational. He reminds Auston that their son still has the regular videocalls with his cousins and Mitch and Connor's kids when Auston starts freaking out about how detrimental it might be that Alex is an only child with only their two dogs for company. He reassures him that they're not the only ones doing this, even just within their friend circle. Mitch has set up a group chat because their eldest is supposed to learn fractions this year and yeah, it's barely even math, but Mitch hates numbers on principle and Connor "doesn't recall fractions being that complicated" when they were kids, so it's not promising. He adds Chucky to the group too even though he just had his and Leon's only child so far a year ago; maybe because Matty doesn't have to worry about back to school, he's calmer than the other guys in the chat and he comes up with some pretty good ideas. And Freddie tells Auston that he knows homeschooling when they haven't had a lot of time to prepare might not be what they would've chosen in normal circumstances, but there're also opportunities to teach their son skills he might not learn in school, like helping in the kitchen and more hands-on science-y stuff out in the yard. At the very least, they'll undoubtedly have physical activity covered. 

"You're the best, Freddie," Auston smiled, feeling a little better after Freddie talks some sense into him (and gives him plenty of kisses). 

"Hmmm pretty sure that's you, Aus," Freddie grins and steals another kiss as he gently leans Auston back into the pillows. 

There's a lot of unknowns right now and Freddie needs Auston just as much as Auston needs Freddie, but they have each other. 


	11. Matthew Tkachuk/Leon Draisaitl

Matt has always supported Leon's career in hockey; he understands more than anyone how important it is. So when he finds out he's pregnant with their first child, he knows that Leon's not always going to be there for all his appointments, won't always be around to hold him and make him feel better when he feels nauseous, self-conscious or sore and swollen. He knows that Leon feels guilty about it, too. They videocall almost every day when Leon's on the road and Matt can see how worried Leon is about him even when he tells Leon that he's fine and so is the baby. Now, Matt knows Leon as well as he knows himself, so he's no longer surprised by the difference between the stoic, focused and even aggressive Leon he's played against and the gentle and attentive man he's dating. He's sure that Leon's going to worry no matter what he says, but he keeps giving Leon updates so Leon can still feel involved in the pregnancy. Leon does make it for the birth of their son and Matt's really glad he's there because it hurts and even though Leon can't really help, he knows what to say and do to make Matt feel less overwhelmed and panicked. 

Matt also knows that Leon will probably miss out on some of their son's developmental milestones. The odds are that Leon will be away from their home in Edmonton when their son says his first word or takes his first steps, and Matt can tell that it weighs on his boyfriend. Leon will get real-time updates from him, of course, but Matt knows it's not the same. It's one of the reasons why he's decided not to return to hockey for a while, even though he could probably be back in playing shape a couple years after giving birth and still has a long career ahead of him. He and Leon will probably be able to work something out with bringing their son on the road when they can and having Matt's parents help out when they can't, but there's a long time to go before they're there and Matt's not even sure if hockey's going to be the same for him after his son has become his world. He doesn't think too much about it for now though, just focuses on their baby, who's now almost one, and the unexpected time he gets with Leon when everything shuts down. 

He smiles when he walks out into the living room after his post-workout shower to find Leon playing with their son on the floor. Jonas has been crawling for a couple months now and recently, it looks like he might try walking by himself soon. Both Matt and Leon are really excited about it and Matt's even happier that Leon might actually get to see their son walk for the first time. 

"Hey..." Matt smiles as he joins his boyfriend on the floor, draping himself over Leon as he cuddles into Leon's shoulder.

Even though it's been nearly a year, he still isn't at the fitness level he was at before his pregnancy and the workouts he does in their home gym tire him out pretty easily. Leon tells him not to push himself if he's not feeling it and even though he's used to hearing the exact opposite when he was playing professionally, he feels all fuzzy at how Leon's taking care of him. They work out together sometimes too, but Leon has somehow managed to stay in peak condition despite not having access to the ice and there's a pretty noticeable difference between their training programs. 

"Hi," Leon beams, kissing Matt's cheek as he wraps an arm around his waist. 

Their son giggles as he crawls onto Matt's lap and does his version of talking to him. He can say a few actual words now and a bunch of other syllables that are kind of/kind of not close to the real words, but Matt's getting good at deciphering what their baby is trying to say to them. Leon did miss his first ever word but fittingly, he's around for his first German word and just about gets whiplash when he's making them breakfast one morning and Jonas suddenly says "katze" while pointing to their cat. Leon's so excited that he calls his family back in Germany at once and Matt feels like he's watching the Oilers win the Stanley Cup. Matt's so happy that Leon got to experience that and he kisses his son's forehead as the little boy giggles and tugs at Matt's curls, unaware that he's just given his father one of the most elating experiences he's ever had in his life. 

Matt smiles as their son climbs over both of them and stands on their laps, using their shoulders as support. Matt sometimes can't believe that all this -- a boyfriend like Leon and a family together -- are really his. 

"I need a rest day tomorrow," Matt groans, feeling his shoulders muscles scream as he tries to pick up their son. 

"Hmm take one today, too," Leon smiles as he kisses Matt's lips a few times before kissing their son's forehead and getting up to go to the kitchen and take over breakfast duty. 

Leon is the better cook between the two of them, by far, and Matt likes to make fun of how European he is. (Then it's Leon who has the last laugh when Matt's moaning over the paella, fresh mozarella salad or some authentic German dish that Matt can't pronounce that he's prepared). Matt's gotten better in the kitchen since their son was born, but he still likes when Leon cooks for him. And Leon's been cooking for him a lot over the last few months; Matt's definitely not complaining. 

"I love you," Matt says as Leon makes his way to the kitchen. 

"You just love my cooking," Leon grins, turning around. "Love you, too." 

Matt smiles, blushing, because even now, Leon still makes his stomach flutter. 

He plays with Jonas a little longer before he finally manages to get himself off the floor and carries his baby to the kitchen to see what Leon's making. Jonas's breakfasts are still pretty simple; he gets to eat solid foods now, but it's still a pretty bland menu... appropriate for where Matt's cooking skills are at, so he makes their son's meals in order to feel like there's something he can contribute to their food. 

Matt takes photos of the elaborate breakfast that Leon makes so effortlessly so that he can post it in the group chat Mitch started for some of the other guys their age with kids. They all kind of like showing off their boyfriends/fiancés/husbands even though they all kind of already know the boyfriends/fiancés/husbands. Some of them are worried about how exactly they're going to pull off homeschooling this year. It's not something Matt's had to think about because Jonas is too young for school, but he's doing really well with helping them come up with craft ideas thanks to Pinterest. He's introduced to the app by his little sister and he's kind of starting to see why it's so addicting. He finds a bunch of activities they can adapt to their son's age and he has a whole board of recipes that he wants (Leon) to try. 

"Mmh do I have to feed you, too?" Leon asks, kissing Matt and wrapping his arms around him lazily as Matt decides that Leon's lap is the ideal place for breakfast. 

"Maybe," Matt smiles and kisses Leon as Leon pulls him closer. 

Leon does indulge him and feeds him smoked salmon and rye toast; in between bites, Matt leans forward and feeds their son his cereal. It's not very efficient, especially with a baby involved, but they get there and taking their time like this, being in love, is just them. 


	12. Nolan Patrick/Travis Konecny

Nolan sighs as he cradles his and Travis's newborn baby. She's been fussy all night and Nolan kind of feels like he's having an out of body experience right now, because it's barely four in the morning and he's still recovering from giving birth three weeks ago and he's so, so tired. 

Travis has been so good at taking care of him throughout their whole relationship, really. Before they even started dating, Travis always had a soft spot for him. He's always there when Nolan's feeling a little down and he always makes time to hang out. He can't make Nolan's migraines go away no matter how much he wants to and how much he tries, but he always knows what Nolan needs to get through an episode, whether it's cuddles, cold drinks, complete darkness, quiet or space. And he's amazing when Nolan finds out he's pregnant. It's not planned and while it does provide a less scary explanation for the constant nausea that he's been experiencing for two weeks, Nolan panics when he finds out. He doesn't know how Travis is going to react and he's especially scared because the more he thinks about it, the more he wants this. But Travis just wants what Nolan wants, because he loves him and yes, he wants a family with him, but more than anything, he wants Nolan to be happy and if he's not ready yet, it's ok. 

Travis is there when Nolan's so nauseous he ends up lying on the bathroom floor every night for two weeks straight for over three hours, just in case. Despite playing in the NHL, Travis manages to come to every one of Nolan's check ups and he cries alongside Nolan when they find out they're having a girl and feel her kick for the first time. He's there when Nolan worries that pregnancy hormones will somehow make his migraines even worse and he's there when Nolan finally has their baby. They name their baby Emily and they love her so much. As tired as he is, Nolan treasures moments like this, in which he can just relax in chair in her nursery once she finally stops crying and he's figured out whether she needs to be changed, fed or just wants to be held. 

Right now, she just wants Nolan, and she quiets almost as soon as he picks her up. He needs to sit down because he's that tired, but he smiles as she hiccups and looks up at him with her blue eyes. Travis and Nolan both have blue eyes, so they have no idea whose eyes she inherited, but she already looks a little like both of them and they know she'll grow into her/their features as she gets older.

"You just wanted cuddles, hmm Emi?' Nolan coos softly, cradling his baby close to his chest. 

There were moments when he didn't feel like he could do this: be a parent, get through his pregnancy. But right now, when he's with his daughter and she stops crying becuase he's holding her, he feels like this was what he was meant to do. 

"Hey, sweetie, what're you doing up?" 

Travis walks in, looking half-asleep himself. If Nolan's tired from pregnancy and birth, Travis is tired from sleepless nights of trying to get to their daughter first so that Nolan doesn't have to get out of bed. 

Nolan smiles, blushing because as tired as Travis is, he's still looking at Nolan like he's the most beautiful thing in the world and Nolan hadn't known that he wanted someone to look at him like that until he met Travis. 

"She was crying and you've gotten her almost every time all week. You need to sleep too," Nolan smiles. 

Travis comes closer and kneels at Nolan's feet, kissing his knees. 

"Wanna bring her back to bed?" He gently rubs Nolan's thigh, knowing he's tired, too. 

Nolan nods and lets Travis help him to his feet. Travis helps him get back into bed too and support their baby in his arms because Nolan's drained. Despite how tired he is, Nolan smiles and leans against Travis's chest as he shifts their baby a little in his arms. He's drifting off again a little, especially with the soft sound of Travis whispering sweet things to him and their baby. He'd otherwise try to stay awake to hold onto their daughter, but he knows he can let himself sleep a little, even with her in his arms, because Travis has her. He has both of them. 


	13. Mitch Marner/Connor McDavid; Matthew Tkachuk/Leon Draisaitl; Auston Matthews/Freddie Andersen

Mitch is trying to bake cookies, and his and Connor's kitchen is going to hell. 

He's on a Zoom call with Auston, who still lives in Toronto with Freddie and their son, and Chucky, who moved to Edmonton to be with Leon, like Mitch did to be with Connor. They're all trying to bake cookies: Mitch and Auston are trying to add more hands-on, pratical activities as they spend the next year trying to homeschool their elementary/kindergarten-aged children, so they're testing out some recipes beforehand, and Chucky just needs to become a better chef in general. His most recent attempt to cook for himself and Leon turned into something that Leon genuinely thought was for their teething one year old, so Matty has a long way to go.

The recipe they chose is supposed to take no more than an hour, baking time included. They've been at it for two, Mitch is glad he has a paid Zoom account and if Matt has to restart from scratch one more time, he'll end up with chocolate chipless cookies. So far, Auston's doing the best out of all of them and that's saying something because they started the session by watching him dump at least a third of a bag of flour on the counter because "there's hardly any left in this one, so it should be fine to free pour." 

Mitch doesn't get how this could go so wrong on all three ends. Chucky, he kind of gets: from what he's seen and tasted, Leon's basically an Iron Chef contestant. Mitch would be freeloading meals like crazy if he had a Leon at home. But Auston and Freddie split the cooking 50/50 and Auston learned how to make a bunch of Mexican dishes from his mom, which taste as good as when she makes them. And Mitch... Mitch really doesn't have an excuse, because he does all the cooking at home. Mainly because Connor is worse in the kitchen than all of them, maybe even Matty, which means that anything he makes is borderline inedible. Mitch remembers how Connor tried to make him a romantic dinner at home on their fourth official date (they'd known each other so well and for so long before they got together that they'd basically been dating for two years prior), and they'd spent the subsequent three days bonding over food poisoning. It was miserable and honestly kind of pathetic, but it also was cute how apologetic Connor was and how he was trying to take care of Mitch even though he was in equally bad shape himself. Mitch thinks it's then when he realized that he's in love with his best friend. 

Since then, Connor doesn't get to cook. He does ok on the grill, but it doesn't make for a versatile menu and Mitch gets a little concerned every time raw meat is involved. But Mitch really starts cooking once he gets over morning sickness during his first pregnancy. He got cravings for all kinds of things -- they're not bizarre cravings like the salsa with chocolate ice cream that Auston couldn't stop eating or the toast with cheese, strawberry jam and mustard that Matt had almost every day when he was pregnant. Rather, they're cravings for foods that actually sound good, but that Mitch would usually get from a restaurant. He figures it's probably better for him and the baby if he makes food at home, so he learns to cook with ginger, makes soups at home, actually figures out how to make coconut rice (!) and he impresses both himself and Connor. By the time Mitch has their now two year old son, he's become a good cook. 

Only for meals though, it seems. Because he's tried some of the cookie dough he's labored over for the better part of 40 minutes, and it just doesn't taste right. Like, at all. It's kind of salty. And tastes a lot like flour. It's somehow also a little bitter and Mitch isn't sure that this is going to turn out well. 

Connor's outside playing hockey in their backyard with their three kids -- their eldest daughter, Mia, who's almost seven and has taken after both her parents in hockey, their five year old, Chloe, who was also showing a talent for hockey and their two year old, Max. Mitch's plan had been to have all the baking done by the time they came back inside, but it doesn't look like that'll happen...

"Oh fuck," Matty says through the screen for about the seventh time, and it's really a good thing they're trying this out with just the adults first before the kids get involved. "I forgot to put baking soda... or powder? Shit, which one is it again?" 

Mitch has a pretty good view of Matt's kitchen counter and he can see that Matt has both out. It's not like Mitch is in a place to judge, but he knows that baking powder is the one that makes stuff rise and he doesn't even know why Matty thought he'd need both. For Leon's sake, it's probably better if Matt messes up this batch again. 

Auston's ahead of the game and he's almost done pressing the cookies on a greased pan. They look decent, certainly better than the disaster they're all expecting from Matt, because the last time he tried to bake vegetables, they supposedly turned out shallow fried. Mitch doesn't really know where his are heading; they look better than Matt's, and not as good as Auston's, which really are only decent. He hears Zeus and Lenny's claws on the hardwood, signalling that Connor and the kids are coming in. Mitch is staring at the misshapen... blobs, really, on the tray and it's a shame that there're all kinds of things their dogs can't eat in the cookies, because they're really going to be stuck with them if they don't turn out. 

30 minutes later, Auston has a slightly too crisp sheet of baked cookies which, when he takes an experimental bite and nearly gags, apparently taste like shit. His son also tries one and makes a face; Freddie tries to tough it out for Auston's sake, but even he can't manage to find anything positive to say about them. It turns out that Auston forgot to add sugar, because he was so caught up in cleaning up after the flour spill, then got distracted telling Mitch and Matt about the scented markers he'd ordered for his five year old and how good they smell. Because they're all parents now and this is apparently what they talk about now. He also probably added too much flour because he tried to salvage everything he spilled on the countertop. 

Matt's come out from the oven absolutely charred; Leon comes into the kitchen with their baby son to make sure Matt's ok because that's how bad they smell. They go out of frame for a few minutes, opening all the windows in the kitchen, then their house because ventilation in the kitchen isn't enough. 

"Schatzi, what are those?" Leon asks kindly, coming back into frame as he investigates the... material that Matt has tried to bake. 

Mitch doesn't have an overhead view, but from what he can see, the "cookies" have fused to the pan and he doesn't think Matt and Leon will be able to use it again. Even their son, who's at an age at which he's normally exploring by touching and grabbing at everything (Matt's curls being a favorite), isn't reaching for the pan and in fact cuddles closer to Leon and makes a sound like he's trying to get away.

Matt's cooking tends to have that effect on people. 

"Cookies..." Matt sighs. 

Leon kisses Matt's cheek in consolation and Matt looks like he's mourning his latest culinary failure. 

And Mitch's... well, they just look rough. It doesn't make sense that half the pan turns out overcooked and the other half undercooked. He tries breaking one of the overcooked ones in half and he can't -- he may not be as strong as he was when he was still playing in the NHL, but he's gotten back in shape since having kids and he feels like he's using all his strength right now. The undercooked batch oozes raw, melted dough all over his fingers when he splits one. They've ended the Zoom call now to deal with their respective messes and Mitch honestly doesn't know what to do. 

His entire family comes in then and Mitch isn't even sure how to explain _this._

Their middle daughter wants to get a better look, so Mitch lifts her onto the table beside the cooled batch of _that _and almost wants to tell her not to try them because even though eggs are the only raw thing in there and he's pretty sure they've baked long enough, he doesn't want to take chances. She goes for one of the overcooked ones though and only takes a bite before she puts it down and makes a face rather like the one Auston and Freddie's kid did. 

"They're really salty, Daddy," she says and Mitch wonders if letting his five year old eat this creation makes him a bad parent. 

Mia wants to try for herself and Connor will give anything Mitch makes a go, so they also take a bite and arrive at a similar verdict, even though Connor's trying really hard to like them. Mitch sighs and cuts up some apple slices and cheese for their kids' afternoon snack before their two girls run off with their little brother to eat at the living room coffee table, now their in-home picnic table since lockdown started. 

"Don't force yourself, Davo," Mitch says when it's just them in the kitchen again. 

It's adorable how Connor is trying to make himself take another bite, with determination not unlike what Mitch has seen on the ice. It's probably not a good thing that Connor is having to dig deep as an athlete to consume his husband's baking, though. 

Connor smiles guiltily and put the cookie down, because he really can't. Mitch ends up throwing the entire batch in the bin; he does take comfort in the fact that he won't be the only one (and at least he gets to keep the baking sheet). 

"You'll get it right next time, Mitchy," Connor wraps his arms around Mitch's waist from behind, kissing the back of his neck and across his shoulders. 

He rests his hands on Mitch's abdomen for a moment, because Mitch isn't pregnant right now, but they maybe want a fourth child sometime and even if they don't, Connor's been so in awe of Mitch's body from the moment they found out he was pregnant with their first child. 

Mitch smiles and lets himself lean back against Connor's chest. Baking, especially baking badly, is tiring and he wants to spend the evening relaxing with Connor. Maybe they'll just get UberEats tonight, because Mitch is good at cooking dinner, but his confidence is a little shot right now and as much as Connor wants to help, there's no way he's allowed to cook dinner tonight. One kitchen disaster is more than enough for one day. 

"It was supposed to be an easy recipe," Mitch complains, turning around to hide his face in Connor's neck because he kind of just wants to feel sorry for himself right now. 

Connor listens sympathetically as Mitch tells him about the cookie disaster he, Auston and Matty just experienced and runs his fingers along Mitch's spine. 

"It was supposed to be for a school activity," Mitch says, pulling away a little and chewing his lower lip because he can handle an afternoon of absolute idiocy with two of his best friends, but he is a little worried about whether he's going to be able to pull off homeschooling their two eldest kids this year. 

He knows he won't be alone; Connor's right there with him as he tries to piece together a curriculum and lots of the other guys he's in touch with are in the same situation. He's still worried that he'll do something wrong and he knows that baking cookies isn't a make or break it thing for a grade 2 student, but still. 

"Hey... Mitchy, it's going to be ok," Connor smiles, kissing Mitch sweetly. "Even if the next recipe turns out like this, you'll still be teaching our kids and showing them how to have fun," he pulls Mitch a little closer. "It's not about getting everything perfect, baby." 

Mitch smiles and kisses Connor because Connor has always made him feel so good about himself. Maybe it's not about being perfect, but he's pretty sure that Connor is. He's always understood Mitch without Mitch having to say a word and Mitch knows Connor in the same way. 

"I love you," Mitch kisses Connor again. 

"I love you too," Connor smiles and chases Mitch's lips. "And like, I don't think I could eat a whole cookie, but they're still better than what I would've made." 

Mitch laughs against Connor's lips and as horrific as the cookies he just baked are, Connor has a point. He lets Connor push him up against the kitchen counter, kissing him and getting his large, warm hands up Mitch's shirt. They're both vigilant about one of their kids walking in on them, but Mitch still lets himself get lost in how Connor knows just how to touch him and kiss him. He doesn't doubt that he'll be trying a new recipe soon with Auston and Matt and maybe they should get their significant others in on it next time, because Leon might be able to guide them through something edible, at least. And even if he can't, Mitch supposes that Connor is right: it's not really about perfection. 


	14. Matthew Tkachuk/Leon Draisaitl

Matt and Leon have a kid together already and they've been in a relationship for years. Leon has absolutely no doubt about his feelings for Matt and he's known for a long time that Matt's the one he wants to do life with. They're not married, not even engaged, but they don't really need to be: Leon still gets to wake up to Matt every morning, kiss him whenever he wants to and because he just wants to, take care of him when he gets pregnant and bask in the knowledge that he knocked Matt up, and now they get to raise their son together. Leon couldn't ask for more and he doesn't know how he's gotten this lucky -- to have a career in hockey and to have someone like Matt who loves him and knows just how to love him when hockey's too much. 

Still, maybe it would be nice to make their feelings a little more public. Leon thinks that Matt's pretty hands would look even prettier with a ring on his finger and he likes the idea of everyone knowing that they belong to each other. He got a little taste of everyone knowing when Matt was pregnant and they'd go out, Matt's bump visible and Leon unable to resist resting a hand over it every so often. He just loves Matt so much and wants the whole world to know. 

Leon's bought a ring and he has it hidden in the back of one of their bedroom drawers. He had a plan to take Matt out on a date maybe the next time Matt's parents come to visit, then propose to Matt after dinner. The pandemic has put those plans on hold, to say the least, and while Leon now gets more time with his family, he's also not too sure how to stage the proposal now. He wants to give Matty the very best and while he knows that Matty doesn't really care about flashy stuff, he still wants the proposal to be as romantic as it can be... and there's nothing very romantic about dinner in the kitchen with a one year old in tow. 

Various obstacles notwithstanding, Leon still wants to see Matty with a ring on his finger. He's Leon Draisaitl and whatever Leon Draisaitl wants, he works for. And maybe it's not very romantic to approach this like a hockey game, but still. Matt is worth it. 

It doesn't really make sense that he's so nervous about this, because he and and Matt are practically already married and he's pretty sure that Matt's not going to say no. Like 100% sure. But he's a bit of a perfectionist, which his hockey testifies to, and he just wants it to be everything that Matt deserves. 

He doesn't have the luxury of private preparation with both of them being stuck at home, but he manages to take advantage of one of Matt's late afternoon workouts to get started. Matt's just downstairs, so it's not like Leon's going to be able to keep much of a secret, but he does what he can. 

"Do you think Daddy will like these?" Leon asks their son, as he zeros in on some of the lilacs and roses they have in their backyard. 

Matt has always loved flowers, although it wasn't something to which he openly admitted while playing hockey. He tells Leon when they start dating and Leon kind of already knew because he'd been watching Matt from afar for a while, as creepy as it may sound. He'd just realized how much he liked the sound of Matt's laugh, how much he loved his smile and how pretty he was... So it was only a day or two after Matt told him shyly that he thinks roses are kind of nice that Leon showed up at his hotel room in Edmonton with a large bouquet of roses, hydrangeas and daisies. He's blushing more than he thinks he ever has as Matt looks at him and the flowers with total shock and it's all worth it when Matt starts crying because he's so happy and can't stop kissing Leon. 

He wants to do the same thing for Matt now, to reassure him that he's always going to love him and that he's always safe to be who he is with Leon. 

Their son laughs and babbles and Leon sustains an impressive conversation in German with him, although only about a third of what his son says to him actually makes sense. He's loved their little boy from the moment that Matt tells him he's pregnant and he's not sure that he's ever felt this overwhelmed in the best way as he watches their son, who has his eyes and nose and Matty's curls, grow up. 

When he gets back in the house, he can hear that Matt's in the shower, so he trims the flowers he's just cut a little more before sticking them in a vase and stowing them away so Matt won't see them just yet. They have a nice patio outside in the yard and it's been sunny all day and Leon draws the shades in the kitchen windows so that he can gradually set things up outside throughout the few hours before dinner. Realistically, he knows that he's probably going to have a hard time cooking a full meal without Matt picking up on it, but Matt won't necessarily figure out that Leon's making a proposal dinner. 

Matt's favorite food used to be Italian, but then he met Leon and was introduced to a whole world of food beyond pasta. So now, his favorite is Spanish food, since Leon took him back to Germany to introduce him to his family and they did a little tour of Europe on the way. Leon already knows how to prepare a lot of the dishes that Matt likes; even before he met Matt, cooking's always been a bit of a release and a relaxing alternative to the stresses of professional hockey. Now it's Matt and their son who keep Leon in check, but he still expands his cooking repertoire when he has time. 

He has everything ready to make the seafood paella that Matt loves, the tomato gazpacho that works so well for warm evenings like tonight's bound to be and various appetizers of olives, pickled vegetables and cheeses. He's pretty sure that it's sacrilegious to eat lunch for dinner in Spain, but Matt likes it, so that's all that really matters. He prepares all the appetizers, then hides them in the back of the fridge just in time as Matt finishes his shower and joins him in the kitchen. 

He tells Matt he'll make dinner tonight, but he doesn't tell him much else. Matt just smiles as he cuddles their son, because he can tell that Leon's trying to surprise him for some reason. He has no idea what for, but Leon's always been sweet like that. When they started going out, Matt was a little taken aback by how different Leon the man seemed from Leon the hockey player, but now he understands them both and he loves them both. 

Whatever it is that Leon's trying to prepare seems important to him, so Matt lets him have the kitchen as he takes their son to the living room to play with him. 

"Do you know what Papa's preparing?" Matt asks as he kisses their baby's nose and makes him giggle. 

Matt smiles and wonders what Leon's planning as he reads picture books to their son, who's more interested in grabbing and chewing on the corners, before Leon comes and gets him for dinner. 

Matt smiles as Leon takes his hand and brings him out to the patio, where he's laid everything out and has the flowers at the center of the table. He's surprised because even though Leon likes doing romantic things for him, he's clearly put a lot of preparation into this and Matt's wondering why. They both keep track of all their important anniversaries, but they're also more the kind of couple who just loves each other every day. So Matt knows this isn't for an anniversary and if not... then what? 

He really enjoys the meal that Leon prepared and it's easy to just suspend all curiosity and lose himself in the way Leon's looking at him and holding his hand across the table. They're feeding their son at the same time (Matt feels sorry for him because he can't eat overly spiced foods yet and it's plain fish with sweet potato for him tonight), but it feels both like a date and like any other time they're at the table as a family and it's perfect. The sun is starting to set and Leon's looking at Matt like he's the most beautiful thing in the world. 

Matt has their son on his lap and Leon's still holding his hand when he gets up and Matt's about to ask him what he's doing. Then Leon's in front of him on one knee and Matt gasps because he suddenly knows what this was about. He and Leon have talked about marriage before and they both agree that they don't really need it to know how much they love each other, but it still takes Matt by surprise that this is happening and suddenly, he knows that he wants this more than anything. 

"...L-Leon..." Matt tears up as Leon opens the small box he has in hand. 

They're in their own backyard in Edmonton, their baby son is right there, cooing and babbling right over Leon's proposal, and both Leon and Matt are crying and laughing because everything about this is _ridiculous _and _perfect _and they love each other so, so much. When they're lying in bed later that night, naked in each other's arms, Matt asks Leon why he was so nervous. 

"As if I would've said no," Matt smiles, running his fingers along Leon's chest and admiring how the moonlight through their window catches in the opal center stone and small surrounding diamonds on the white gold band now on his ring finger. 

Leon takes Matt's hand and kisses right over the ring. He smiles as he runs his fingers through Matt's curls and he's not even sure if he has enough words in German to describe how much he loves the boy in his arms. 

"I wanted it to be perfect... you deserve it, Matty," he says, letting his fingers trail down Matt's side. 

Matt lifts himself up off Leon's chest and kisses him deeply, making Leon's heart race. 

"I just need you, Leon," he says softly. "That's perfect for me." 

Leon devours Matt's lips again and he's not sure if how he feels about Matt is coming across in full, but he's prepared to keep kissing Matt until it does. 


	15. Freddie Andersen/Auston Matthews

Auston had a bit of a meltdown when he found out he was pregnant for the first time. He knew _of _men who could get pregnant; he hadn't had a clue that he was one of them. And he knew that Freddie wanted a family -- Freddie was so good with kids and Auston had no doubt that he'd be an amazing father. But as many times as Freddie had told Auston that he loved him, that he was it for him; no matter how many times they kissed, went on dates and wound up in bed together, Auston still wasn't sure if Freddie wanted that family with him. It wasn't that Auston doubted how Freddie felt about him, but he sometimes just didn't understand why Freddie, who could have anyone he wanted, chose him. 

He'd panicked for fifteen minutes before calling Freddie, who was at practice. Auston hadn't been able to go for a whole week because he felt sick, and now he knew why. He hadn't meant to, but he'd started crying as soon as Freddie answered, then told him in one mess of sobs that he was pregnant. Freddie took it so well, leaving early to go home to Auston and reassure him that he wanted this if Auston did. And Auston did. 

A few years later, with their son now two, they'd talked about having another baby and had been trying for a couple months now. It might be a little excessive, but Auston took a test almost every week and today, it finally came back positive. 

Auston couldn't stop smiling and he ran to Freddie, excited to tell him that they were going to have another child. He found Freddie playing with their son in the grass in their backyard and he took a moment just to watch them together. He felt so lucky to have this with Freddie and as much as there were a bunch of things that he didn't like about being pregnant -- feeling sick, the discomfort, the weird breathing classes he and Freddie would attend together, and actually having the baby. But he loved going through it with Freddie, getting excited about every development in his pregnancy with his husband, letting Freddie give him the best massages and fulfill his every craving. And it always made his heart squeeze when Freddie would talk to his bump, or how he looked at Auston with so, so much love and adoration the first time he feels their first baby move. Auston's not sure if it's a cultural thing or just a stereotype, but all the "hygge" stuff that Auston's heard about really does come naturally to his Danish husband. Between Freddie's cuddles, candles, countless cups of tea and hot chocolate that he brings him and all his favorite recipes when his mother comes to stay with them a month before Auston's due, Auston feels safe, cozy and so loved. Freddie tells him he's glowing one night when they're in bed and he looks like he's glowing just by looking at Auston, and those are the moments Auston can't wait to experience again. 

He ends up waiting until they go to bed that night, although he's pretty sure that he's not doing the best job of going along like things are normal. 

"What are you so happy about?" Freddie asks him curiously when he comes in. 

"I'll tell you later," Auston smiles and kisses Freddie's nose teasingly, taking their son as the little boy reaches for him. 

Freddie captures his lips before he lets him go and spends the rest of the evening looking like he's trying to decipher Auston's secret. Auston almost breaks and just tells him, but the more he thinks about it, the more he really wants to surprise Freddie with this and make it as special as he can. He's not the best at spontaneity or thinking about all the logistics of surprise announcements; that's more Mitch's specialty, like the extravagant way he tells Connor he's pregnant (it involves riddles, a fancy dinner and baby shoes). Auston also has a hard time keeping his emotions to himself, especially when he's with people he loves. And he really loves Freddie. 

So Auston's barely keeping himself together when he and Freddie finally can wind down for the night. They've tucked their son in for the night and Freddie very obviously _wants to know _what's been making Auston smile like crazy all evening. 

"Tell me, Aus..." Freddie whines, taking Auston's hands in his and pulling him gently onto their bed. 

Auston beams as he settles onto Freddie's lap and takes a moment just to gather his thoughts and feel Freddie's big arms around him. 

"...I'm pregnant," he says softly and bites his lower lip as he watches Freddie in the soft light of their bedside table lamp. 

Freddie blinks in surprise, visibly processing what Auston's just told him. It's not like he doesn't expect it to happen at some point; they're trying for a baby after all. But to hear Auston say it somehow still catches him off guard and once it really sinks in, he kisses Auston hard and pulls him impossibly close, brushing back the soft hair that's falling into Auston's eyes as he kisses him again and again. 

"I love you so much, Auston," Freddie whispers against Auston's plush lips, then kisses along the slight stubble along his jawline before kissing his neck and returning to his lips. 

"I love you too," Auston says, wondering if he's going to cry, because Freddie's resting a hand on his abdomen as he keeps kissing him, and they really do get to do this again. 

Auston's a little tired and he knows from experience that he'll probably start feeling sick soon. They also have to figure out how to explain to their son that he's going to be a big brother. Auston's probably going to ask Mitch for advice, because Mitch and Connor have done this twice already. Auston wants to make sure that their son knows they're always going to love him just as much and he also doesn't know what to do if any... awkward questions come up. For the former, he knows he can talk to his mom; for the latter, yeah he and Freddie have been together for a while now and they already have a kid, but it's still the sort of thing he'd rather not talk about with his parents, thank you. 

Despite having some experience as parents now, they still have a lot to learn and Auston finds it a little intimidating at times, but he knows that he has his very best friend by his side and that they'll figure it out together. 


	16. Matthew Tkachuk/Leon Draisaitl

Matt knows that Leon has always wanted a large family and, as he falls deeper in love with Leon over the years they've been dating, he realizes that he wants one, too. Hockey's never given Matt much time to focus on his personal life, but he's managed to have a couple boyfriends before he meets Leon. It's enough experience for him to notice the difference: Leon is so attentive and sweet to him, makes him feel beautiful and when Matt shyly tells him that he can get pregnant the first time they sleep together, Leon just tells him that he loves him. That some men can get pregnant is nothing new, but it's rare and there're still some people who find it disgusting. Leon doesn't. He thinks that dealing with all the stigma that being different brings makes Matt even more attractive. He's always gentle with Matt and doesn't treat him any differently after he finds out, but he's a little more careful when they have sex and it's just what Matt needs. Despite being one of the Flames' star players, Matt doesn't always feel confident, especially when the fans and the media focus more on him than on his hockey. But Leon always makes him feel better, reminds him that he's more than even just hockey and when Matt sometimes feels at odds with his body, Leon tells him that he always has a choice. Leon's the only partner Matt's ever had who puts Matt first and teaches Matt to put himself first too, rather than give and give to others until he has nothing left. 

Maybe that's why Matt _wants_ to give Leon the family he knows he'd like to have. If Matt truly didn't want to have kids, he knows that Leon would never try to persuade him or hold it against him. When they really gets serious, after their third anniversary, Leon reassures him that they can always adopt in the future, have fur babies instead or just be the two of them, because Matt's all he needs. Matt doesn't doubt Leon's sincerity, but he also feels like having a baby with Leon would make their relationship next-level and Leon deserves next-level. And Matt likes kids; he's always wanted one or maybe two of his own. It's just that he never thought he'd meet someone he trusts or loves enough to have a baby with. A family of his own also seems like an abstract idea, but when he meets Leon, Matt has a clearer and clearer mental picture of kids who look a lot like Leon and a little like him, too. 

He knows Leon wants this, but Matt's still so shy when he brings it up one night. They're cuddling on the sofa when Matt softly asks Leon if he wants to start trying for a baby. 

"Wha- like, now?" Leon looks at Matt in surprise. 

Matt flushes and he doesn't know what to say. He wouldn't mind if they started now, but he's nervous and feels so far out of his depth. Leon's his boyfriend and they love each other so much, so he shouldn't feel shy asking Leon if he wants to have a baby with him. He does though and Leon's quick to pick up on it, like he always is. 

"Matty, I want to," Leon says, kissing Matt's cheek. "It's just... are you sure you want to?" He asks and the concern in his tone only cements Matt's decision. 

Matt just kisses Leon in response and lets their kiss deepen as Leon pulls Matt onto his lap. He still has to convince Leon that he's ready and they have a serious talk about it before Leon finally carries Matt to their bedroom. 

He's not expecting it to work right away, so he doesn't bother taking any tests for the next month or so. They're in the off-season, so they have entire days together and Matt knows that Leon's enjoying making love whenever and wherever they want just as much as he is. Still, he's disappointed when the first test he takes comes back negative.

"It can take time, Schatzi," Leon says, wrapping his arms around Matt from behind as he kisses his cheek, Matt still looking sad from the results he gets that morning. 

Leon's always been calmer, not one to be fazed like Matt easily gets. So Matt lets Leon keep him grounded and relaxed, and he tries not to think about how it should've worked by now. 

Another month goes by, then another and then they're both at training camp with the season about to start. Matt's still not pregnant and they're still trying, but they don't have nearly as much time together. Distance has never been an issue in their relationship, especially since Calgary and Edmonton aren't far apart and they've been visiting each other's families together over the off-season for years now. It still isn't; they're both good about calling each other almost every day. Leon makes sure to text sweet little messages to Matt more often too, because he knows that Matt's feeling dejected that they're still not pregnant. He wants a baby with Matt, but it's not supposed to make Matt miserable. Matt doesn't really let it show, but it's starting to get to him. Maybe he and Leon aren't together all day, every day like they are during the off-season, but they're still trying and Matt's still not pregnant. He doesn't talk about it with the guys, even his closest friends, but when he's alone in his hotel room after a game, even if they win, he feels a little empty and inadequate. It's worse when there's a fan event and he's spending time with kids; it makes him realize just how much he wants a family with Leon. 

Auston's suddenly put on IR in the middle of the season and the Leafs' management won't give details as to why. But Matt gets a call from Auston later in the day. They've remained close friends since junior hockey; Auston's always been one of Matt's best friends, in part because he's just like him. Auston's more excited than Matt's ever heard him, possibly even more than when he got drafted. He tells Matt that he's pregnant and he's so, _so _happy even though he and Freddie hadn't been trying. Matt's glad for both of them. He knows that Auston and Freddie are going to be amazing parents and that Freddie's going to be so good to Auston, like he always is. At the same time, Matt also feels sadder than before; Freddie and Auston hadn't even been planning for a baby, yet they already have what Matt and Leon have been trying so hard for. 

For the first time since he and Leon started trying to get pregnant, Matt cries until he falls asleep. Leon's already called him and he doesn't have to keep up appearances, so he lets it all out and wonders why his body's not cooperating. He's never wanted something this badly and he's even prepared to give up hockey to get it. But a whole year goes by and he's still not expecting. 

Neither of them make it to the playoffs that year, but Matt returns home first, to Leon's place in Edmonton. Auston gives him a pregnancy update; he's almost seven months and he gets kicked all the time. Now Freddie can feel it too.

Matt can't help but want what Auston has. 

He's desperate by the time Leon gets home and he practically jumps Leon as soon as he walks in. 

"Hey Matty," Leon smiles, letting his equipment bag fall off his shoulder as he wraps his arms around Matt and returns his kisses. 

Matt doesn't say anything and just pulls Leon closer. Their kisses become harder, bruising and almost frantic once Matt tugs Leon along to the bedroom. He loves being with Leon whether they want a baby or not, but he wants this to work so badly. It _has _to. 

Matt really wants Leon, but it's also the first time he's thought about sex as functional instead of a shared pleasure that deepens the bond he shares with Leon and he knows that he isn't as much in to it right now, that he's too desperate and too rough.

"Matt, sweetie, what's wrong?" Leon asks gently, slowing their kisses a little reluctantly.

He doesn't exactly want to stop, not with Matt almost naked on his lap, giving soft, desperate moans and kissing him like he'll drown if he doesn't, but it doesn't feel quite right. Matt's normally very vocal when they have sex and Leon loves how giggly he gets when he kisses him in all the right places. But Matt hasn't said a word since he got home; he seems disconnected and Leon needs to know what's going through his mind first. 

Matt freezes, his arms suddenly going limp where they were tight around Leon's shoulders. They're both trying to catch their breath, but Matt deflates a little and he fixates somewhere on their duvet, instead of looking at his boyfriend. 

"Matty...?" Leon asks softly, sex now the last thing on his mind because Matt's definitely not ok. 

He brushes his thumb along Matt's cheekbone, eyes widening a little in alarm as a tear trails down Matt's cheek and onto his finger. 

"Baby, what's wrong?" Leon tries again, trying to coax Matt to look at him. 

Instead, Matt starts to cry in earnest, sobbing as he lets himself fall forward into Leon's arms. Leon holds him closer, running his fingers up and down Matt's spine, his heart breaking a little as he feels Matt's tears down his bare shoulder. It's a long time before Matt's sobs quiet to sniffles and Leon gently rearranges them so that they're sitting next to each other, backs against the headboard as he wraps his arms around Matt and wraps the decorative blanket they have at the foot of the bed around Matt's shoulders in case he's cold. 

Matt leans against Leon's shoulder and Leon doesn't push him to talk if he doesn't want to. All he wants is for Matt to know that he loves him and that he's there no matter what. 

"...I'm sorry," Matt sniffles after a moment. "T-That I can't give you a baby..." 

Leon blinks in surprise, then swears as he kisses Matt deeply and pulls him on to his lap, holding him as closely as he can. 

"Matty, it's ok... fuck, you shouldn't even be apologizing, sweetie. It'll happen in it's own time," he soothes, stroking Matt's curls. 

"Leon, we've been trying for over a year," Matt says sadly, his eyes filling with tears again. "W-What if... What if I can't...?" He says, his voice smaller than Leon's ever heard it.

"Then we can't and we can look into adoption when we're ready," Leon says easily, brushing a few stray curls from Matt's pretty eyes and kissing away his tears before they have a chance to fall. 

"But you want our own kids," Matt whispers, like he's telling Leon his darkest secrets. 

"If we adopt, they're still ours," Leon cuddles Matt closer and kisses his forehead. "Family's not just about blood, baby. And yeah... I'd love to have a kid with you," he kisses Matt's lips next. "But I want you, just you, more than anything else and I want you to be happy," he kisses Matt again. 

He smiles as Matt relaxes in his arms, knowing he's managed to make him feel better. 

"I love you," Matt whispers. 

"I love you too, so much," Leon kisses Matt back, whispering sweet things to him in English and German as he kisses all over his body and just kisses, wanting to remind Matt that he's enough. 

\----

Matt feels better after they talk, but Leon can tell that he's still a little upset, so they make a doctor's appointment together. Matt doesn't want to see his team doctor about something so personal even though she knows he's trying to get pregnant. They find someone in Edmonton instead, where Matt's going to spend most of the break with Leon. 

Of course, their physicals check out, so they're referred to a fertility specialist and for Matt, it's possibly the most embarrassing appointment he's ever had in his life. He's not ashamed of his relationship with Leon and it certainly helps to hold his hand for the consultation, but Matt's shyer about those sorts of things. Leon's not his first boyfriend, but he's his first serious and truly intimate relationship. Leon's also a little older than him, not by a whole lot, but they're both still young enough that three years is a notable difference. Culturally, it's also not as much the norm to talk so freely and clinically about sex in America as it is in Europe, so while Leon easily answers most of the doctor's questions, Matt's stumbling and blushing his way through the whole hour. Leon teases him a little after, then kisses him and tells him he's cute.

Matt's still worried that nothing's going to work, but he's glad that he gets to go through whatever happens with Leon. Leon's also determined to help Matt relax, because the specialist thinks the reason they haven't conceived yet is that Matt's been so stressed out. He has been: when Matt's not pushing himself for hockey, he's feeling self-conscious about what the media is saying and when he's not overthinking that, he's dwelling on how he can't even have one baby, let alone the big family that he and Leon both want to have. Matt likes to think that good communication has always defined his relationship with Leon and it has, but it could apparently be better because Leon had no idea that Matt was preoccupied with so many things. He's better at telling Leon what's on his mind now; Leon wants him to talk to him when he's stressed, even if they're on the road, or one of them's in the playoffs. 

Matt still isn't pregnant by the end of the off-season, but he doesn't feel as discouraged about it anymore. He and Leon spend a few weeks in St. Louis, then they fly out to Germany and stop in Toronto to visit Auston and Freddie and their new baby on the way back. Matt feels a little strange when he sees Leon with a baby in his arms, but he tries not to think too much about it. 

Leon spends a few days with him in Calgary before they both have to go to training camp, and Matt doesn't want Leon to go. He's been feeling tired lately and as late summer turns into fall, he wants nothing more than to cuddle with Leon in bed. He does feel more settled though, not as desperately longing when he hangs out with the guys who have families.

By the time they play the first game of the season, Matt's definitely not feeling well though, and he wonders if all the stress of the previous year is catching up to him. The desire to sleep in every morning is escalating to all-day lethargy, to the point at which he's almost falling asleep at practice. His teammates notice and are getting worried, especially when he has to sit out a game two weeks into the season because he feels too lightheaded to even put on his skates. He's pretty sure that it's a cold or the residual effects of stress, so he doesn't bother to get himself checked out right away and he also doesn't tell Leon. Edmonton's expecting so much from Leon right now and Matt doesn't want to distract him. In retrospect, he probably should've known that Leon would've found out; they always watch each other's games when they're not playing at the same time, so of course Leon hears the announcement that Matt's come down with something and is sitting out the game.

Leon calls as Matt's getting out of the shower, ready for bed before 10 pm, and Matt's so tired that he almost doesn't answer, even if it's Leon. But of course he picks up and he does his best to follow with Leon's questions. He tells Leon that he doesn't have to come to Calgary to look after him; he knows that Leon only has a couple days before his next game and he doesn't want Leon to waste them with him when he's sick. Naturally, Leon doesn't listen and he drives to Matt's apartment the next day. Matt tells him that he shouldn't have come and he doesn't want to get Leon sick. Leon kisses him anyways and tells him to stay in bed while he looks after everything. By the time Leon goes back to Edmonton, he hasn't caught whatever Matt has and Matt's feeling worse. He finally sees the team doctor when he feels so sick that he's going to have to miss another game and the diagnosis is not what he's expecting.

He thinks twice about texting Leon before he decides to just drive to Edmonton that evening and wait for him after the Oilers' game. He doesn't want to break Leon's focus and this definitely will.

Matt lets himself in when Leon's gone to the stadium and he sinks into the huge sectional sofa in the living room. He mostly feels sick in the morning, but he doesn't feel great now, either. He knows that Leon's going to be thrilled about this, but he also doesn't know how he's going to tell him. When they were consciously trying, he might've tried for some elaborate surprise announcement but now that it's really happening, he doesn't know what to say. He smiles softly as he rests a hand on his abdomen and he texts Leon that he's waiting for him after the game before proceeding to wait for what feels like the longest hockey game ever to be over.

He's fallen asleep by the time Leon gets home and he wakes up to the scent of Leon's cologne, Leon kneeling in front of him in his suit as he strokes Matt's cheek.

"Hey," he smiles as Matt wakes up.

"Hi," Matt smiles tiredly and sits up.

Leon sits down beside him and wraps his arms around him.

"What're you doing here?" Leon asks softly.

"You don't want to see me?" Matt pouts exaggeratedly and Leon smiles as he kisses him.

"You know I do," he kisses Matt again. "But don't you have a game tomorrow?"

"...I'm going to be on IR for a while," Matt starts.

Leon stiffens and looks at Matt with concern.

"What? Why?"

"...I'm pregnant...?" Matt says softly and feels ridiculous that he's so shy about something he and Leon have wanted for over a year.

Leon stares at Matt for what feels like a full minute, then Matt gasps in surprise as Leon throws himself at him and practically devours his lips.

"I love you so much," Leon whispers in between kisses and Matt almost cries from how gentle Leon's kisses are.

Matt's tired, but he starts feeling better as Leon keeps kissing him and he's happy to let Leon do all the work. He stays the night and of course it's the next morning that he actually starts throwing up. Leon looks so worried as he waits for Matt outside the bathroom and Matt knows he's doing this with the right person.

They go to Calgary together to get Matt's things and the next few days are a series of meetings and negotiations with management. No one's giving Matt a hard time and they mostly know that it's been planned for a while, but Leon can tell it's still stressful for Matt. He's fatigued almost all the time now, feels nauseous throughout the day and when Matt leans against Leon's shoulder when they have a moment in between meetings, he knows that Matt's had enough for one day and he just wants to take him home. 

They end up back at Matt's apartment after their last meeting and Matt goes straight to bed after a shower. He quietly apologizes because he feels really guilty that Leon's missed a couple practices and even a game to be with him. Leon just kisses him until he stops and holds him in bed, although he's tentative and ready to put some distance between them because his cologne or shower gel or both made Matt throw up the other day and he can't seem to get the woodsy-citrus scent out of his clothes. 

Matt moves in with Leon and he can keep his contract with the Flames once he has the baby and gets back into shape. He's not sure if it's what he wants though. Hockey's been his life until now, but the life he's building with Leon is going to be his focus and he wants to be there for their kids. He still needs to have kid #1, but he already knows he wants more. Leon hates that he can't be there every day -- living with Matt is something he's always wanted and it's difficult to know that he finally has his (pregnant!) boyfriend moved in with him while he's miles away on the road -- but he does everything he can to take care of Matt when he's not travelling. Matt's due around the beginning of April and for the first time, Leon doesn't really care about making it to the playoffs.

Matt has to go to his first couple scans alone and Leon's angry with himself because he knows that Matt's nervous. Matt's been to Edmonton so many times that he's pretty familiar with the city before he moves there, but it's still new, he doesn't know anyone, he's pregnant and he's just put his career on hold to have their baby. Leon feels like he should be doing more; Matt deserves more. He doesn't want to be the dad who's never there because of hockey and he really doesn't want to become one of those obnoxious hockey dads when their kid grows up. He calls Matt in the middle of the night, hundreds of miles away, because he's kind of having a panic attack about it. Matt just listens, then he smiles and looks so beautiful through the screen that Leon wishes he was home. He tells Leon that he's not being fair to himself because he is there even when he can't be physically. Then, he tells him to go to bed because he knows it's late where he is, he has a game the next day and he's not making any sense if he thinks he's going to be a toxic hockey dad. Leon smiles and feels a lot better by the time Matt hangs up on him and he's quick to answer Matt's "I love you" text before he finally falls asleep. 

By the time Leon gets a few weeks off in December, Matt's showing and they spend a whole day in bed together. Leon can't stop touching Matt's bump and although Matt's self-conscious about it at first, having Leon's hands all over the swell of his abdomen becomes his new favorite thing. 

Matt can't believe how lucky he is sometimes. None of this is easy; he remembers too well how desperate he was for the baby he's now expecting and he misses Leon a lot on the nights he's away. But he gets to face all the uncertainties and challenges with Leon, and that's all that he really needs. 


End file.
